JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by Ghostfire239: 11/4/2016 9:49:35 PM
119

What happens when you say you want to be a Cryptarch

[b]Dad (Warlock) Mom (Hunter) Sarah (Daughter/Titan) Tim (Son, has yet to become a guardian)[/b] *Family sitting at a table* Dad: So, how was your day? Mom: Great, I finally got that cloak I ordered! Dad: That's wonderful! How about you Sarah? Sarah: It was alright, I'm just about ready to start taking B-class missions. Dad: That's my girl! Mom: We're really proud of you dear! Sarah: Thanks Dad: What about you Tim? How was your day? Have you looked into anything you want to be? Tim: You know dad, I think I may want to be a Cryptarch! *Dad begins choking of food* Mom: *Hits Dad on the back a couple times while Sarah laughs* Sarah: Haha Nice going Timmy! Tim: What did I do!? Dad: *Stops choking and thanks Mom* I'm sorry about that Tim, I probably didn't hear you right, could you repeat that? Tim: I said I wanted to be a Cryptarch. *Silence* *Mom's Ghost appears and whispers something to her* Mom: Well it looks like I'm being sent out on another Patrol. I'm really happy for you Tim! *Mom quickly leaves* Sarah: That reminds me, I'm supposed to be training today sooo...Bye! *Quickly heads out the door* Dad:... Tim:... Dad: So you wanna be a Cryptarch eh? Tim: Yeeaaah? Dad: SO YOU WANNA PUT GUARDIANS SUCH AS YOUR FATHER ON SUICIDE WATCH? Tim: N-NO! Dad: WELL THAT'S WHAT A CRYPTARCH DOES!! Tim: But- Dad: Look at your sister! She is respected! She is loved by people and guardians alike! A Cryptarch is neither loved nor respected by either! I will not have MY SON be some bastard that rewards people's hard work with gear not even worthy of a thrall! I did not go around doing bounties and opening chest for 50 years for you to be a CRYPTARCH! Tim: But daaaaaad Dad: NO BUTS! You are going to GUARDIAN SCHOOL, and you are going to be A WARLOCK! Tim:...Fine! Dad: *Mutters to self* wants to be a cryptarch, how ridiculous! [b](Fast forward several hundred years to the present)[/b] *A Hunter, Titan, and Warlock sitting around a Campfire* Hunter: And THAT my dearest Titan is how Warlocks became a class! Titan: *Talking with mouth full* Whoooa! WHat happen to Tim? Hunter: No one knows but rumor has it that somewhere out in the outer systems there is a Warlock who decryptes engrams and rewards Guardians with the most powerful gear in existence! Warlock: That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard in my life! Hunter: I think it's true. Titan: Is that why you're so moody all the time? You wanted to be a Cryptarch? Warlock: What? NO!! I'm not even in the STORY! AND I'M NOT MOODY! Hunter: But you wanted to be a Cryptarch! Every Warlock wanted to be a Cryptarch at one point! Warlock: HUUUNTER!! Hunter: Oh shit! *Just barely dodges a fireball* *Warlocks chases Hunter around the campfire while throwing fireballs at him* Edit: Ho...ly...Shit. I was not expecting this to be a trending thing lol

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon