Welcome to another Unofficial Weekly Update. While you wait for the real update to drop, here is something to pass the time. (Yes I know that I am a day early, but given Christmas, I will be aaway from a computer to post, so I am throwing this out today!)
Today's Poll: What food are you having for the holiday? Ham, Turkey or Lasagna?
This week, it's Christmas. Some of you celebrate it, some of you don't, but we can all agree that it is an awesome time of year in general. Last week, I promised you all a special Christmas interview. I was hard pressed to find a new interviewee, so I just decided that...well...you'll see for yourselves!
[b]Welcome back gang! I figured I would give you the opportunity to wish all of our readers a Happy Holidays and thank them for all of the support this year! Starting with you there![/b]
(Sepiks Prime): You assholes still don't get it do ya? Yeah, you can leave me behind, but always remember that I WAS THE FIRST! Alpha strike right here baby! WOOOOO!
(Aksor): Whoa isn't like Holidays like...a human thing man? I dunno, I don't really celebrate that much, but I guess...uh...Happy Holidays and uh...stuff...Hey man, you got a small, cramped space? I need some fumes...My elbows are tinglin man...that's probly not a good thing...
(Omnigul): MAAAAAX!! OHMIGOD I am like, sooooo happy-
[b]NEXT![/b]
(Phogoth): PHOGOTH NOT CARE ABOUT PUNY HUMAN FUN DAYS! PHOGOTH STILL WANT NEW KITTY! PHOGOTH HAD KITTY, THEN PHOGOTH SQUISH KITTY!! PHOGOTH WANTED TO HUG KITTY! Phogoth am sad...
(GRMAX): I am so very humbled that you would ask me to address your readers. I'm afraid the Speaker would not be amused, but, Happy Holidays Guardians! Know that every day, I strive to be as great as you legendary heroes!
(Valus T'aurc): I see that you have returned Mr. Maximus. Is it truly a Happy Holidays you wish for me to bestow upon these fine people? Or perhaps maybe something...else lurks in your desires? I would love to discuss it over a fit of Fava Beans and a nice bottle of Chianti...
(Banshee-44): I still can't find Dom...Oh...Happy Holidays Guardians, hope you like my weapon parts now!
(Purple Ball): Jackass.
(Xur): Hey sorry about that outburst during our interview...were you guys at least happy THAT I BROUGHT YOU YOUR F***ING GJALLARHORN OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY BITCHING ABOUT IT ON THE FORUMS?! Oh. Happy Holidays YOU UNGRATEFUL JERKS!!
(Taniks): You know the part, “He sees you when you're sleeping?” Yeah. That part is totally true. I want to sneak into your houses and watch you sleep, mmmmm. Happy Holidays Guardians. I'll see you a LOT really, really soon...
(Master Ives): I cannot believe that you Guardians actually elected Rahool as your next Speaker...Happy Holidays I guess...they'll be the last you Guardians have. I tried to warn you...
(Omnigul): MAX! You can't avoid me forev-
[b]NEXT![/b]
(Crota): Hey don't you be talking ta my bitch no mo man, SHIT! Don't make me thow this damned kitten at you! I swear, I don't care how hard they scratch, I'll do it just to see you bleed! She was MY woman first, ya hear, I don't wanna have to get violent up in here, but I ain't afraid to fly no kittens if I have to!
(Variks): I'll have you know that the Prison is still open for business, and we'd love to have you visit! Happy Holidays! Oh, and Max...I found out what fap means...I think some of our prisoners need therapy...
(Brother Vance): Oh I GET IT! Yeah. You want me to wish a Happy Holidays to the other Gods? I know about them! You confirmed it! We aren't real! None of this is real man! If you're reading this, I know about you. I see you reading there...stop that grinning this isn't funny!
(Randall the Vandall): Man what are you doing back here? You know, I haven't forgotten about how you left me for dead with Urzok! Guess you're wondering why he was never available for an interview huh? Yeah that's right. I f***ed his shit right up bud. Rhinoceros Testosterone HOOAH! Yeah whatever, Happy Holidays to your readers who voted that I would win. Because I did. Really.
(Speaker): I just wanted to say to all of you who clearly revere and love me so much, Happy Holidays.
(Zavala): BUUURP...ugh...thith thtuff ith really good. Max!! Maaaan we're gonna thow it DOWN! Happy Holidayth you Guardians! WOOOOOOOO!! I need thum TAIL...wherth Erith? ~passes out~
(Omnigul): Max seriously?! You DO know that I was like, TOTALLY brought back to be a-
[b]NEXT!!![/b]
(Amanda Holiday): Hope y'all been enjoyin them Sparrow races! I like it when you guys crash. Crashin is racin my brother always useta say. Happy Holidays! Haha...y'all git it right? Cuz...you know...my last name is Holiday...yeah.
(Lord Shaxx): THERE AREN'T ENOUGH EXPLOSIONS DURING THE HOLIDAYS! I WANT YOU GUARDIANS TO CHANGE THAT! F*** THE DARKNESS! BLOW THEM UP! EXPLODE SOMETHING IN THE NAME OF LORD SHAXX! HAPPY HOLIDAYS MOTHER F***ERS!
(Eris): Take care for the Holidays Guardians...Crota is still out there and you don't want a third eye like I have...Happy Holidays.
(Oryx): MurdiusMaximus, I am FLATTERED that you would ask me to wish your readers a Happy Holidays. It is literally...the greatest honor I've had today, and I thank you for that. Guardians, have a happy, wonderful, and safe holiday. I'm still going to kill all of you, but I want you to be happy until I do. It's important. Thank you all so much.
(Speaker Rahool): Guardians, last week you voted to make the Tower great again. I thank you for that. Last week, you heeded my warnings about the Exos, and rest assured a plan is in place to remove them from our walls. I will make the Tower great again. Humanity will be great again. There's work to do. Ask not what you can do for the Tower, ask what the Tower NEEDS you to do! Stay great Guardians. Merry Christmas!
(Tess): Max, you told me that Zavala wouldn't be here...ugh. Happy Holidays Guardians!
(Omnigul): Max I know you are trying to avoid me! What is-
[b]NEXT!!![/b]
(Lord Saladin): NOBODY GIVES A ROTTEN RIPE HORSES ASS ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAPPY HOLIDAYS BULLSHIT! WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME HERE AGAIN FOR SUCH A WORTHLESS REASON?? THESE PEOPLE DON'T NEED ME TO WISH THEM A DAMN THING BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD ONE OR A MISERABLE ONE DESPITE A GODDAMNED THING THAT I SAY!
(Tlu'urn): Have a happy Holiday Guardians. Even if it is a human holiday. We Cabal don't celebrate worthless things like special days when there is work to do conquering the universe...
(Mau'ual): HAHAHA I love the holidays don't listen to that frump! I wonder if Santa can bring me a plasma cannon. I could do lots of fun things with a plasma cannon-
(Tlu'urn): ~rubs temples~ You are NOT getting a plasma cannon. You can't even make your own jetpack work for longer than three seconds and you want...
(Mau'ual): AWWWW you're no fun. Happy Holidays Guardians HAHAHAHA!!!
(Gerd): I'm not allowed to wish you humans anything! In fact, just being here is considered heresy by the Captain, and I've probably just killed myself by coming here! I told him I had to pee. It is a perfect cover story! Can I go now?
(Omnigul): MAX I AM GETTING SICK OF YOU JUST-
There you all have it Guardians! What a year! Thanks for making UnofficialWeeklyUpdate what it is today. Thanks for being constant readers and making my Thursdays awesome. These are nothing without you guys. My wife and I wish you all the very happiest of holidays this year, and I look forward to another great year of getting verbally and mentally abused by future interviews. If it is cold where you are, stay warm. If it isn't, I envy you HAHA! Spend time with your loved ones, open some sweet loot, eat, drink and be merry! Bungie, thanks for Destiny, and a very happy holidays to you and yours. Let's hope that no savages DDoS our systems again this year! Keep those guns piping hot and those Strange Coins handy for Santa Xur, maybe he will show up in a Santa hat or something. I'll see you in the Wild!
-MurdiusMaximus
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4 RepliesPetition for MAX to be in the next interview! [spoiler]Basically an AMA, and I want to delve deep into what TF goes on in that head![/spoiler]