Welcome to another Unofficial Weekly Update. While you wait for the real update to drop, here is something to pass the time.
Today's Poll: This is it, vote for the new Speaker of 2016!
This week, while searching for someone to interview, I found out that the race for Speaker is somehow still going forward, and as such, I was asked to moderate a debate between the Speaker and Rahool. I accepted. There won't be any news this week, but the trade-off is that this is the first ever Official Unofficial Speaker election for 2016! Here are your candidates! It's come down to a final debate between Engram and Glimmer mogul Master Rahool against the current Speaker...uh...Speaker. Yeah. Anyway, let's begin the debate!
[b]
Master Rahool, thank you for joining us for today's debate![/b]
Good to be here Max.
[b]Speaker, also great to have you here![/b]
The people are honored by my presence Max. It's important for me to take part in these kinds of things no matter how ludicrous they are.
[b]Very well. I will start with you Speaker: Many people in the City have expressed outrage over the fact that you throw those of them who come up to the Tower right back off. What do you have to say to them, and the families that are left behind of those you throw off?[/b]
Golly Max, that is such a great question. You know, when I sit up there in my quarters, looking down upon the people in the City, it fills me with such joy. I lead these people. I bring them closer to the light. When the Traveler first spoke to me, he said, “Make them first Speaker. Make them first.” It was a transcendent experience unlike anything that I have ever seen, heard or felt before...it was a very WOW moment for me. I try to follow that creed to this day. I see those tears in people's eyes, and...goodness...it gets me every time! I mean look at me now! My eyes are watering here just thinking about it ha ha ha!
[b]You didn't answer my question...like...at all.[/b]
Of course he didn't answer your question! He's hiding the fact that he is a murderer and-
[b]Master Rahool. It isn't your turn yet-[/b]
is trying to hide that behind a false front. I know these kinds of people. I've been dealing with them my whole life. I've made a lot of money working with these kinds of people so I know how to spot the bad ones. It's all I'm saying.
[b]Master Rahool, many people think that if you take over as Speaker, you will make many changes in the Tower to benefit yourself. Plans such as the Engram Glimmer Tax Initiative or deportation of all Exo beings from the Tower and City have painted you in a dark light. What do you have to say about that?[/b]
First off Max, let me be completely honest here? Can I be honest? What do we actually KNOW about these Exos? Are they Guardians? Sure, but how do we know that they aren't Hive sleeper agents waiting to have a switch flipped and go completely crazy on all of us? They are dangerous robots and they need to be sequestered away from the good people of the Tower and the City. Look at the Vanguard Cayde-6. He is reckless, and knowingly endangers Guardians with his schemes. He ignores orders...he is a rogue. Imagine what would happen if he went nuts? I don't think anyone here wants to see what happens when a Guardian Exo loses his mind and decides we are all part of the enemy. He has access to the highest echelons of power in the Tower, and that frankly scares me. Frankly if you aren't human or Awoken, I think you don't belong in our Tower or City. I say we kick them all out and build an EMP field to keep them out. And the Exos will pay for it too. As for the glimmer tax? I have already-
[b]Master Rahool your time is up-[/b]
proven that this will boost the Tower economy by 1,000%. I have good people who helped me write this plan, and they assure me that this would increase money earned in the Tower. With that money I can-
[b]But your platform calls for you to be in charge of that money, as well as collect it so you can see where the issue here is...right?[/b]
Look Max, everyone wants to demonize me because I know how to make money. I'm a money making machine. This is what I do. Of course I would be in control of those funds, but that's because it is my plan and I'm the only one that would know how to implement and allocate it properly. Make the Tower great again people. It's simple. More glimmer means more we can do with the Tower.
[b]Speaker, this is a fairly new development in the way that Speakers are chosen, what made you agree to participate in any kind of election at all? Rahool has even told me that the position of Speaker is not an elected position. Why are you bothering at all?[/b]
Another great question Max thank you!
[b]…so...?[/b]
Was there something else?
[b]I uh...guess not.[/b]
See this is the kind of leadership that he provides. He is dumb. We need powerful leadership that isn't afraid to stand up to the-
[b]Master Rahool, it isn't your turn to speak![/b]
Tough kinds of enemies that we will be facing down the line. Our Guardians have slain Oryx. A Hive GOD. And his son. Do you really think that the other Hive Gods will sit still for this? Do you really think that the Fallen are going to just sit back? How about the Cabal? There is a real threat to this planet and-
[b]Master Rahool, you were part of an engram controversy a year back, where Guardians were bringing you legendary class engrams and you were returning them with rare and even common items, sometimes giving materials. Why were you doing that?[/b]
This again? Let me be as honest as I can here, I changed. Did I not change? Let me ask you Max, when was the last time that I honestly let you down with an engram?
[b]Three Crest of Alpha Lupi's in three exotic chest engrams that I bought from Xur...[/b]
See now there is your problem. You buy these things from...let me be honest here, Xur sells garbage to the Tower, and if elected speaker I will have his passage there revoked. You can't blame me for decrypting faulty engrams. He sells faulty engrams! Perhaps you should try earning your engrams just like the elite Guardians do. None of the this 3 of Coins nonsense or buying faulty, broken engrams. Earn them. That's how we used to do it, and that's how we'll do it again.
[b]Exotic engrams don't really drop without the 3 of Coins so...[/b]
And isn't that a problem Max? Honestly, I think it's a problem. If I am elected Speaker, I can guarantee that more exotic engrams will drop, and there will be more variety. I'm trying to make the Tower great again, and this is one of the ways that I can do that. Nobody likes a Guardian that buys their exotics. Did you earn that? No, you bought it. Anyone can just buy something. The true Guardians fight random chance and hope that exotics happen. It takes true skill to earn them that way, and I want to make it that way all the time. My father taught me that when you earn something, it means more. It's simple.
[b]Speaker, Master Rahool has said on numerous occasions on his campaign that you contributing to the stagnation of the human race. How do you answer these claims?[/b]
Max you are just full of good questions today! The fact is, we aren't stagnating at all. Our Guardians are the finest fighting force in the Galaxy because I inspire them to greatness through the Traveler. I purify the wicked in our City, and I lead us into a brighter future.
[b]Okay then. Speaker, tell me what we can expect from you down the line if you remain Speaker after the election.[/b]
Max, people already look to me. I have provided safety and love. You know, part of being as revered as I am is being reliable. That's what you can count on from me. Things aren't so bad right now are they? Why change when you don't have to? I mean, how great is it that for years people have looked to me to lead them? And I think I have faithfully. Don't forget that it is me that sends the valiant Guardians on their quest to defend humanity. Their actions are, by extension, my actions. So therefore, I am fighting for all of us already.
[b]And Rahool, what can we expect from you if elected Speaker?[/b]
Simple. I will make the Tower great again. I can boost the Glimmer income, I will get rid of those pesky Exos, I will make more Engrams drop. I can give better loot. Most of all, I have the courage and the, well I'll just say it, I have the balls to stand up to the enemies that we are about to face in the upcoming year. I'm tired of the P.C. Garbage. I'm tired of eeking out existence from the bottom of the universal food chain. We need to be more aggressive with our Guardians. We need to strike the heart of Darkness, we need to eliminate the Exo threat, and it is a threat, mark my words, and we need more glimmer flowing into the Tower. Wars cost money people. Vote for me, and you vote for the future. Vote for him...well, you vote for staying stuck in the past. And the past isn't so great. You have a cap (imposed by the Speaker I might add) on how much glimmer you can have, we are withering away, and are a heartbeat away from complete annihilation. Look to the future Max, that's what's ahead of us. I'm sick and tired of defending humanity. It's time for humanity to attack. Take back what we are due.
[b]Thank you both...I think.[/b]
And there you have it! Be sure to cast your vote for the next Unofficial Speaker of the Tower! And be sure to stay tuned next week for the first ever UnofficialWeeklyUpdate Christmas interview!
That's all we have time for this week Guardians! As always, thank you all so much for reading and remember to keep those guns piping hot and those Strange Coins handy! I'll see you in the Wild!
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3 RepliesRahool, Try an EMP. Come AT ME BRUH! #EXO REBELLION SPEAKER,WE ALL DONT LOVE YOU! Sell something other than Class items! Me: Forget both of em!!! MASTER VARIKS FOR SPEAKER 2016. (HES MOVIN TO THE TOWER)