When I was walking my grandma's dogs along the beach, I saw a girl from school I hated and the two dogs went apeshit on her, so I accidentally dropped the lead and after a good 5 minutes of them chasing her down the beach, I pick up the lead and say "Sorry, they're bred to catch rats." I then proceed to skip home and sip hot chocolate.
[b][i][u]NEW SUBMISSIONS[/u][/i][/b]
You can now tell us the funniest (naughty) thing you've ever done.
It's a long story, ask for full story if you want but we basically bought 10 condoms from a dispenser in a restaraunt bathroom and blew them up [spoiler]Kaboom [/spoiler] like ballons and stuffed them in a stall
We have 911 posts
Another rek is
"I dont have the time, nor the crayons to explain that to you
1k lmao
English
#Offtopic
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Me and my friend were walking towards a door. Just before I went through he stood back and said 'ladies first' when we got out the door I said 'if I'm a woman yo momma's a lezbion'
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Charles Darwin called. He wants his half evolved ape back Note: person insulted my hunter
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2 Replies"Some guy asked me if i had any good comebacks or something and i responded with- Maybe not but you sure as shit dont. Also when someone said in a RvB quote thread- "Holy baloney Batman!" Oops i just quoted a good show my bad. I quoted him and said- Oops i just quoted a retard my bad.
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1 ReplyEdited by Red Death: 8/8/2015 8:28:29 AMM8: "ha you are fat" Me: "no I'm not and why do you need a bra?" M8: *goes quiet Me: "because you got moobs like jagger"
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10 RepliesI bet it took you the whole of that 5 minutes to think of that burn.
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5 RepliesI remember when I was walking along the stadium seats when I was 12-13. A couple dudes came up to me and told me to give me all my money. Needless to say I had a pen with blood all over it after the predicament.
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3 RepliesMy bullshit sensor goes off when ever I click on this thread
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3 RepliesHmmm.
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1 ReplySo I was playing crucible, I got killed by a player, and I killed him back, and the match ended
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3 RepliesI rekt into another car and the family of four inside burnt to death in the resulting explosion.
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Can we burn ourselves?
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Your mom
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A remember once my school went on some field trip and this girl was talking about how love was a big game, my friend leaned over and said "if loves a game then that should mean your controller is unplugged!" [spoiler]probably a lot funnier back then since consoles had wires and we were younger...[/spoiler]
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5 RepliesI avoid hurting peoples feelins
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1 ReplyThey wouldn't stop pulling my hair... So I wouldn't stop pulling the trigger
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4 RepliesMuted
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1 ReplyI once ran down a family with my car and burned the bodies to hide the evidence... Does this count?
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Someone called me dumb...then I said no u. [spoiler]get rekt[/spoiler]
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My friend was tellin me about his Uncle and how he's got like 8 kids, and then my friend said "Yeah but now he goes to church and stuff, but he has a lot of kids" I say, "he should've kept them babies with Jesus" We couldn't stop laughing
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When i burned someone with a lighter. And when i wrecked my car.
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2 RepliesEdited by VietnamBitch3s: 8/13/2015 12:55:48 AMNicked someone I hate's bike, slashed the tires nailed it to a tree in a public park(a LOT of nails were used) in the middle of the night with a sign on it saying "the owner of this bike is a liar, betrayer, drug addict, vandal, rapist and overall -blam!-" The worst part is they're all true
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Fücked ur mum so hard she lit on fire.
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A kid said he hated my voice[spoiler]I said I hated the sound of his mom orgasming[/spoiler]
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Alright so a girl was trying to get me to draw her as a light source for some art project and I really fûcking hated her so I replied [spoiler]Well bitch, I gotta draw something that light exists in.[/spoiler] My friend ran around the room screaming OOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOHHHH and I was legend for the rest of the day
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Your mum couldn't walk right for a month once I rekt her.
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"I know you are but what am I"