When I was walking my grandma's dogs along the beach, I saw a girl from school I hated and the two dogs went apeshit on her, so I accidentally dropped the lead and after a good 5 minutes of them chasing her down the beach, I pick up the lead and say "Sorry, they're bred to catch rats." I then proceed to skip home and sip hot chocolate.
[b][i][u]NEW SUBMISSIONS[/u][/i][/b]
You can now tell us the funniest (naughty) thing you've ever done.
It's a long story, ask for full story if you want but we basically bought 10 condoms from a dispenser in a restaraunt bathroom and blew them up [spoiler]Kaboom [/spoiler] like ballons and stuffed them in a stall
We have 911 posts
Another rek is
"I dont have the time, nor the crayons to explain that to you
1k lmao
English
#Offtopic
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Damn lmao.
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Well one time I got a lighter and gas and burned my friends arm off.
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1 ReplyA friend said this Jerk, Oy wheres your pubic hair Friend, in your mothers mouth
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1 ReplySomeone called me stupid and I said "no u" REKT
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6 RepliesEdited by Apollo: 7/15/2015 6:04:13 AMWell lets see -made an 8 year old(yes he was) cry in a halo reach custom games -made a 8-12 year old cry in gta because i kept killing him -made a pair of kids under 11 rage in gta -cussed out a party of 6+ people untill they kicked me (Xbox live) -was called a hacker by a group of four 30 year old men (xbox live) -i made 3 people stop talking because i was roasting them -tricked someone into saying thwy were gay (lol) All i can think of right now
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Dad: 'The question is...'(about to ask my mum a question) Me: 'Do you think the wizard will give you a brain?'
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3 RepliesKid told me he had a bigger D than me. I told him "Really cause that's not what your girlfriend said when she deep throated mine." Then I started dating his gf
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3 RepliesI once rekt a guy on here so badly I found a post on another website of him whining.
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Friend: I can do more pull ups than you! Me: orly? *friend gets on bar and does 20 pull ups then starts hanging from bar* Friend: I'm a little tired, hold on a second. Me: What are you!? A livin, breathin scrotum!? Get off that goddamn bar and I show you some real pull ups! Friend dies of laughter #rekt
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2 RepliesGood looking girl in my class I compliment sometimes Me: hey nice outfit Girl 1: thanks Girl 2: why dont you ever pay me a compliment? Me: cause you aint ever lookin good.
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Edited by Godzilla: 8/15/2015 2:20:01 PMOne day I was on the bus and this kid that constantly likes to mess with me one day said to me before I got off the bus "go home and suck your dads dick" and I said "nah the only thing I suck is your moms cünt" everyone on the bus was going dayum and oooooh. I think he was trying to impress the new girl on the bus but he got utterly rekt
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1 ReplyEdited by RandoGrayhat: 8/20/2015 7:34:45 AMWas playing Minecraft (Don't judge, people) And this dumb girl kept blowing my stuff up for no reason and generally being stupid. Conversation got heated, and it became increasingly clear that she was 12yrs old and not the brightest. Her grammar sucked a$$, and eventually I said "That sentence just gave me cancer" she started going on about how she had cancer and it wasn't funny. When I asked her what type of cancer she had and how long she had it, she literally said "theres only one type of cancer you -blam!-tard its cancer and ive had it all my life" No words. Sorry for lack of rekt
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3 RepliesI like your shirt... It distracts me from your face [spoiler]yeah I'm not good at burns[/spoiler]
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14 RepliesI told my 4 year old son, "GO -blam!- YOURSELF." (We live strangely than normal people) And he got roasted so hard he started crying, it was funny because, it was so spontaneous! I ended up saying, "Here son take 2 dollars." And he's fine.
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2 RepliesI once gave my mixtape to this guy and he caught in fire and died... I got arrested for murder and arson
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1 ReplyEdited by Kakn: 8/15/2015 4:44:21 PMSet this dude on fire. Shit that was hilarious.
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2 RepliesMy party was roasting each other then this kid come up and joins so I start roasting him like lol "get a girlfriend" and he says "at least I'm still a virgin" which is where I say "you can still suck a dick and be a virgin"
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1 ReplyThis one time me and a whole bunch of friends went swimming and we had a race. As soon as we started I was like look over there and they were like what? I was like sike nah and then I won the race.[spoiler]story of my life[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesA classmate said on Instagram that she's busy studying, and homework and school is the most important thing. I replied "and is that why you got held back in 7th grade?"
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*pushup contest, one hand, i won" I would have challenged u to a no handed contest, but then i realized u didnt have a penis. #2 Guys, _____ is whippin his dick out! Get a microscope and some tweezers!
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2 RepliesEdited by t70type42: 8/19/2015 2:08:34 AMOne of my friends was talking crap on me and pulled up a picture of a trash can and said it was me and i said you know what a trash can does [spoiler]it carries garbage[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesMy grandfather would tell me about how he would use flamethrower traps against the American opressors in Vietnam..... does that count?
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I used to get into fights all the time with this certain kid when I was a kid in elementary school. He was like 1 grade behind and extremely racist. Recently he died of a drug overdose while I just bought a house! Life win!!!!
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"U r ghey"
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A guy walks up to my friend and I We're sitting down together, talking about stuff He says,"No having a root in public ya fags, it's against the law." He stares at me with a puzzled look on his face as I pick up my phone and dial a number He says,"What the -blam!- are you doing?" "Calling the police."
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Loving this! Bump!