When I was walking my grandma's dogs along the beach, I saw a girl from school I hated and the two dogs went apeshit on her, so I accidentally dropped the lead and after a good 5 minutes of them chasing her down the beach, I pick up the lead and say "Sorry, they're bred to catch rats." I then proceed to skip home and sip hot chocolate.
[b][i][u]NEW SUBMISSIONS[/u][/i][/b]
You can now tell us the funniest (naughty) thing you've ever done.
It's a long story, ask for full story if you want but we basically bought 10 condoms from a dispenser in a restaraunt bathroom and blew them up [spoiler]Kaboom [/spoiler] like ballons and stuffed them in a stall
We have 911 posts
Another rek is
"I dont have the time, nor the crayons to explain that to you
1k lmao
English
#Offtopic
-
2 RepliesIn middle school: Some kid kept asking whether I was gay. "Why are you asking? You looking for a date or something?"
-
My neighbor told me I was a loser for using tinder. I told him, "sorry, I'm immune to any damage done by someone with a body count 5 lower than mine."
-
Whenever I get in a fist fight (and win, I don't always win) I take their pants and one of their shoes and throw them on the roof of a building. They always wear the one shoe, it's really funny.
-
Edited by Corgi: 9/29/2015 1:38:58 AMI liked this one a lot.
-
21 RepliesReported for heavy sexual implications.
-
2 RepliesMy brothers friend who is 3 years older than me was bad mouthing me for playing halo cause "I was too young to know how to play". I was around 15 at the time. We played a 1v1 and I didn't die once to his fat ass.
-
3 RepliesMy favorite ones are the backfire ones where...here are some examples. "You're hair is ugly." "Thanks, I try to make it look like yours. "You're stupid." "Well, I do try to act like you." There was also this one time when my girlfriend's neighbor kept telling me stuff to get me mad or jealous, this is pretty much how it went down. Him: "You know, I've been in her bedroom before. And I've known her longer than you." Me: "Yet I'm still the one that's dating her." That's the best one that I've made up on the spot that I can remember.
-
5 RepliesPerhaps today, in PE. My friend and I were talking about arm strength. I challenged him to an arm wrestle. He got all high and mighty. I won. f*ck yeah Jazmin challenges me (she is in vest, showing off her HUGE tits), I win again, say "I don't like beating girls" she said she didn't mind. FELT SO GOOD.
-
I did poke a friend with a heated metal rod..
-
Oh man.. 4 times in a ROW
-
Why did your barber throw his clippers at you?
-
Stole a guy's thunder while taking to a girl
-
3 Repliesglases jacket shirtman cal me glases jakit shirtman lethr 2 keep me hot shirt 2 kep me cool glasis 2 wach u loos ooooooooooooooooooooooo o bb a tripl wombo combo gt th camra boombambopbadabapboompow omg omg fire fire fire omg bro no u didnt omg bro omg u jst fukin ownd him
-
3 RepliesWell I did leave my kids in the oven for a few days, were very crispy afterwards.
-
3 Replies"Boom, bam, bop... Nada-bap-boom... Pow!" [spoiler]I'm about to end this man's whole career.[/spoiler]
-
5 RepliesHardest I've burned someone? One sec, I need to check my list of burned down orphanages.
-
I put my mixtape in a happy meal
-
I smashed and burned this one chick pretty hard...
-
2 RepliesSo, there was this fat ass kid who was very annoying was pissing me off. One day, he tried to annoy me, so he said, [quote]imma shoot you, as well as... Your girlfriend... Shot! Your mom... Shot![/quote] So I interrupted him by saying: [quote]all your family... Shot! All your "friends"... Shot! The prostitute that left right after he saw your ugly ass face... Not shot, banged by me![/quote] He left thinking about revenge. I called after him, saying that he find some good comebacks or play in a highway
-
1 ReplyI broke up with my ex girl, here's her numba[spoiler][/spoiler]sike that's the wrong numba
-
2 RepliesSomeone confirmed me so I nuked there country
-
Calling a thorn scrub out and then having to have his friend step in, rekt him then got banned from all comms until Wednesday!!!!
-
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Yeah, yeah (Ooh, ooh) I don't know why you're not there I give you my love, but you don't care So what is right? And what is wrong? Gimme a sign What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) Oh, I don't know, what can I do? What else can I say, it's up to you I know we're one Just me and you I can't go on What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) What is love? (Ooh, ooh, ooh) What is love? (Ooh, ooh, ooh) What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Don't hurt me Don't hurt me I want no other, no other lover This is our life, our time When we are together, I need you forever Is it love? What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Yeah (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) (Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh-whoa, whoa, ohh, ooh) What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (Huh-huh, huh-huh) Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more (Huh-huh, huh-huh) Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love?
-
Annoying kid: you know this is a sentence: buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo. Me: you know what else is a sentence? You should stop talking Stupid kid: talking about place he goes and "gets bitches" Me: oh the blind academy? About friend with acne: if you can read Braille, tanner's (his name) face is a great read.
-
1 ReplyJust found a pic of my ex girl
-
Idk but my teacher once rekt me pretty hard (didn't make me like her any better though). So she's asking the class to have a moment of silence for 9/11 in a bit, and she says we will be doing it for a minute. So I, being me, say, "why can't we be quiet for the rest of the class? Or have you given up on that?" And she says, "I think you of all people would have a hard time doing that." My friends thought that was pretty funny.