When I was walking my grandma's dogs along the beach, I saw a girl from school I hated and the two dogs went apeshit on her, so I accidentally dropped the lead and after a good 5 minutes of them chasing her down the beach, I pick up the lead and say "Sorry, they're bred to catch rats." I then proceed to skip home and sip hot chocolate.
[b][i][u]NEW SUBMISSIONS[/u][/i][/b]
You can now tell us the funniest (naughty) thing you've ever done.
It's a long story, ask for full story if you want but we basically bought 10 condoms from a dispenser in a restaraunt bathroom and blew them up [spoiler]Kaboom [/spoiler] like ballons and stuffed them in a stall
We have 911 posts
Another rek is
"I dont have the time, nor the crayons to explain that to you
1k lmao
English
#Offtopic
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4 RepliesThis happened like, 2 days ago prior to this comment being posted. So I was at school in the parking lot where all the kiosks were for a big volleyball tournament was being held. Me and the squad sit down on a table and start talkin and whatnot. So there's this speaker on pandora or something right? Playing all kinds of popular music and such. I'm sitting on one end and our friend we call The Mexican sits on the other, chill dude, a bit awkward but still a nice guy. We make a small joke about how he's such a "hipster" for reasons I don't remember and it stuck. So the Weeknd was on the speaker and Mexican was singing along. So I decided to playfully go like "You dirty hipster! Disgusting!" because I honestly hate all these stuck-up pretentious hipsters. Then he goes like: "Well at least I'm not some dubstep-metalhead" All my buds look at him, then at me and go -blam!-ing crazy because I got rekt. Tfw a Mexican just rekt you Mfw when being horribly humiliated when I've been rekt Mfw I have to give Mexican props for the comeback since he's so chill about everything.
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We were doing algebra in class and my math teacher was explaining 41x and he said that's how many ex's he had and I said I bet 40 of them were guys[spoiler]he got mad. :'([/spoiler]
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2 RepliesWe took an overnight trip to an aquarium for school last year, and the whole time was spent rap battling. Went undefeated. Good times.
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1 ReplyFriend: you're a disturbed child Me: you're my child
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1 ReplyTold someone one I was gonna make them look like vegeta after he fights goku then told him to go train more
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I was once told that I was gay in middle school... I responded by saying that's not what your mom said last night....
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2 RepliesSomebody said they solo'd Kings fall raid. I said in the time it took to write that post I SOLO'D YOUR MOM
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1 ReplyTrump
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1 ReplySo my school has bus numbers right, and I ride bus 14. Some kid was talking shit, so I said you know how we ride bus 14? Well your mom rides 14 inches. The OHHHHHHS splited my ears.
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I just call them a condensing bitch
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In 6th grade I had a girlfriend and this was my first, but anyway this one kid who pretty much acted gay was talking about us to this one kid who was pretty popular, and he said to him, "All they do is hug." And so I said "At least I've actually hugged a girl." He claimed that he has before, and I said his gay friend didn't count because there was some other kid who acted strange like him. Anyway me and the popular kid laughed our asses off and it was great and no offense to gays lol
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53 RepliesA kid said I was bad at club penguin and I responded to him by saying he smelled bad
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2 RepliesIn middle school: Some kid kept asking whether I was gay. "Why are you asking? You looking for a date or something?"
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1 ReplyYour jamacian bacon 68
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1 ReplyGirl ur eye shadow look like Elmo from grouch land threw up on ya
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11 RepliesI called someone a *extreme language ahead* [spoiler]poopiehead[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyTold some one this [spoiler]you doo doo head[/spoiler] Pretty hard core
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Edited by Mr Swoogity: 9/29/2015 3:12:20 PMThanks for stopping with the stupid ones :p
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I once said "my mixtape burned more people than your mom burned calories"
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I know you have a lot of money and I don't give a shit. Do you know what can't fix your ugly ass face and personality? Money.
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Twat: four eyes Me: I can get laser surgery but you still wont have an original insult
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I was in the weight room in wrestling hitting the pull-up bar doing kips when one person yelled "Don't do kips like immatureskate45 or you'll get 50 push-ups!" I got off the bar flexed on him and asked him how many varsity matches he had won the previous year then proceeded to call him out on being a poon in front of the entire team.
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My dad told me ( in a joking way ) he'd drop me like a bad habit, I replied [spoiler]dad, I've noticed you don't really drop bad habit now do you?spoiler]
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Everytime I talk to Solaris, I destroy him
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4 RepliesThis is the best I've managed today http://m.imgur.com/vmnwCHO