Borderlands 2 is so much fun, it's so nice to be able join a random game or view 15 different joinable lobbies and see the mission they're on and the hosts level. Can't wait to farm some more legendaries tomorrow. Funny that game came out 2 years before destiny. Funny.
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The lack of private matches in Destiny is another mystifying aspect. Why not do like Gears and Perfect Dark and let people choose to host or search matches? Host picks level or sets to progression or random. Host picks private match or open to matchmaking. I've said in many posts since launch, the biggest barrier to PvP success (and contributor to nerf posts by proxy), is the lack of private matches and inability of players to learn maps outside of matchmade competition. In Halo, you could run around the maps alone if you wanted to learn them. Here people are at such a huge disadvantage going in and they get smeared because they don't know the levels like the competition and they blame weapons, classes, supers and everything but their lack of experience.
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Personally I think pvp sucks and is a lagfest in this game but it might bring a little life to it if you could 1v1 (or more) with your friend in a private match.
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I think it depends a lot what system you are on too. I've definitely seen lag, but no nowhere close to what I used to see in Halo.