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originally posted in: Porn to men in relationships.
4/9/2015 3:17:04 AM
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I'm sorry, how is watching porn cheating? Personally, I don't care if he watches porn. I'm perfectly fine with that. It's not that he's actually having sex with someone else so why make such a big deal out of it.
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  • Thank you. Another female who gets it... This topic makes us seem like crazy loony bins

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  • I don't know why I am posting about it because it really hasn't been an issue for me so far but I do imagine myself in other people's situations and try to think how they might feel! I think it's about intention, if your boyfriend does it to get up for you that's good, if he does it to save you from his horniness or because you don't feel like it that's also fine, I think where a lot of women might start to resent it is if it's replacing you in some way. I sometimes read or watch what my brother calls "girl porn", I will admit to having read romance novels and 50 Shades of Gray, but when I'm with my boyfriend I'm with him, I'm not pretending he's someone else so I can get off. To me the main aspect of sex is the connection with who you're with and I guess if the guy is picturing that you're a porn star, maybe that helps physically but I am willing to admit it would bother me and I honestly think that makes sense. All that said I think maybe you guys are picturing something different than I am, like moderate use to help things along and that's OK with me I am just talking about something more than that (and you do hear of those situations, someone on this forum had a marriage fall apart over it).

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  • I guess I understand your concern. But do you think that you might be thinking too far into it? If he loves you and you are right there in front of him I highly doubt he's thinking about tori black... Want to know why? Because she's fictional... You're factual! You're the woman right there in front of his eyes.... I'm a realist in knowing yes, we've heard about those situations where relationships fail over porn guy is addicted etc etc but sometimes I wonder if we don't blow things out of proportion... Like an analogy would be every time his phone goes off do you think it's another girl? Maybe it is, but probably not. We put too much thought into the small stuff instead of living... If your boyfriend loves you and you guys have great sex who cares if he watches porn? Don't sweat the small stuff... Live and love =]

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  • Maybe you are right, I don't always know what goes on in their heads and anyway like I said, it's not an issue I have dealt with personally, as far as I know my boyfriend only looks at porn occasionally and he includes me when he does (though it doesn't do much for me). My brother looks at porn, which is disgusting but I just cleaned his house last night and that was one of several disgusting things I found lol (I guess he wasn't ready to give up on last month's leftovers). He's single right now so I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I'm just saying if there WERE a case where the guy was not really thinking about you but instead thinking about anyone else, porn star celebrity your best friend or whoever, I have seen some girls say " who cares he's not actually cheating on you," and that's true but I do think it's not really healthy, I want our time in bed to bond us together and I don't see how it will do that if he's not even seeing me. Like I said never happened with me as far as I know so maybe I'm seeing problems where they don't exist but you do hear about stuff and I am not going to tell the girl who says she lost her husband to porn that she's lying or wrong!

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  • Maybe it's more of a jealousy thing?? Or maybe it's like "why have that when you have me"??

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  • I get some girls get jealous over it but at the end of the day, it's just a girl on a screen. And if you have to ask that question, you're already doing it wrong.

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  • Hmm that is tru. It honestly just depends on the people I guess.

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  • I guess. But it's simple really, if you don't want your boyfriend to watch that, you gotta make some efforts in your sex life. It's a give and take situation. I know so many girls who hate their spouse watching porn but do nothing to give him a reason not to watch.

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  • Damn

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  • ? :)

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  • You sound like any guy's dream

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  • [quote]You sound like any guy's dream[/quote]

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  • I have never had this happen and it isn't something I worry about normally but this thread does have me thinking through how it would be, and I think if we watched some porn together it would be fine, and if he watched or looked at a little porn on his own I would probably just roll my eyes but no big deal, but if he was looking at it all the time, comes to bed and doesn't feel like it because he masturbated to porn earlier, or we're having sex and he makes a lot of porn references or calls me by a porn character name or something it would be a big problem to me. The main reason I like sex with my boyfriend is the closeness and if he's not even thinking about me, like I'm just a physical prop or something, that would kill the closeness. I'm not saying I feel that way about a little casual porn viewing I am just saying if it it was a big part of his life this is why I think it bothers some people.

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  • Yeah like why is it such a big deal lmao

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