If you have 2 or more of the same class you're a scrub. (I'm 100% scrub)
If you use Titan, Hunter, or Warlock you're a scrub. (+33.3% scrub)
If you buy anything from Xur you're a scrub.
If you use any exotic weapon in PvP you're a scrub.
If you use any shotgun or fusion rifle in PvP you're a scrub.
If you use any weapon in PvP you're a scrub.
If your PvP kd is below 143.0 you're a scrub.
If you can't find a decent team to run raids with you're a scrub.
If you can't solo Crota's End you're a scrub.
Even though it's been almost 3 months, if you got the game on Christmas you're still a Christmas noob scrub.
If you use an exotic armor piece or vanguard gear to reach level 30/32 you're a scrub.
If your grimoire score is under 2000 you're a scrub and if it's over over 2000 you're a no life scrub.
Also look for posts like...
Deej is a lying -blam!-bag who extends Xur for casual filth.
3675 raid completetions and still no crux/vex.
89402715 hours and still no Gjallarhorn.
xXDope420KushXx got ascendant material in the Nightfall. Bungie needs to get their shit together.
Titans are the most noob friendly class.
Warlocks are the most noob friendly class.
Hunters are the most noob friendly class.
If anyone gets killed by anything it will be nerfed.
All classes are OP.
xXscrublordXx is done with Destiny because....reasons.
-insert currently unreleased game here- will kill Destiny.
"If Xur sells -insert exotic weapon/armor here- I'm done."
"I earned my -insert exotic weapon/armor here-." (By 100% random chance)
"It's pronounced yolohorn"
"I will boot anyone without yolohorn from my raid team" (or anyone using Red Death)
"I had a 3way with your mom and Omnigul (they both let me in the back door) AMA"
"Everyone hates Iron Banner. Nobody even plays that shit. Queens Wrath is where it's at. IB guns are trash anyway. Give us a PvE event Bungeeeee!"
"90 bucks is not worth the 9000 hours I've put into Destiny."
"If I get -insert large number here- replies I'll completely ruin my child's life and likely send him/her on a one way trip to a psych ward by the age of 6 by naming him/her -insert raid/strike boss name here-."
"Why do guys make female characters? Seriously, I get on Destiny to pick up chicks and you assholes are cock-blocking the shit outta me."
"Warlock/Titan/Hunter/smoggy-blam!-ingpluto/Chuck Norris #MasterRace"
"Petition to remove jumping, sliding, blink, supers, grenades, armor, weapons, dancing, and crouching from the game and make all PvP playlists "two hand touch" control."
"FOUND HIDDEN VOG CHEST!!!!
well i havent actually found it yet but when i get home from school/college/work im going to try something out. I will post my findings later!!! (Posted 2 days ago... no reply)"
And these overly popular replies..
"Muted"
"Shut up Meg"
"Git gud scrub"
*Centipede*
*Fabulous*
"Gr8 b8 m8 I r8 8/8"
Welcome to the forums.
(This is me welcoming you to the forums. This is not in the list of popular replies. In fact I'm pretty positive this shit right here is a world's first. -blam!- soloing Crota on hard, I just welcomed new people bitches.)
Side note: To really be a pro on the forums you need to completely disregard punctuation, grammar, paragraphs, and capitalization. Trust me.
And watch out for opinion polls. Regardless of what the topic is your opinion is invalid and OPs opinion is law. This is the golden rule. Follow it, or forever be scrub status.
Very few people actually know what "satire" means. Even fewer can identify satire posts.
If you don't want to be a scrub, download the DLC.
Almost forgot
TL;DR you're a scrub and you'll never get Gjallarhorn.
Edit: this is the part where I let you know that we're trending which is just an attempt to draw more attention to myself as a forum poster (I'm a scrub remember?). I will continue to edit this post coinciding with comment numbers in increments of 100. And even though I could just edit the existing edit with the new number I'm going to make a new edit for every 100 comments just to piss you off.
On a serious note, if you don't tbag strike bosses as they disintegrate you're a scrub (lol)
Edit: 100 replies! OMGLOLGTFO*little picture of a whale*#yolo! Told ya I was gonna do it. (Even though 40% of the comments are just me replying to replies I feel like I've accomplished something today)
Edit: 200 replies! Ehrmagherd! (Thought I was gonna stop at the last edit didn't you? Ha! Scrub.)
Edit: 300 replies now (again a lot of them are mine)! This editing shit is annoying as balls isn't it? Like... "Why does he keep doing that? Does it make him feel better about himself? Does he not know that we can see that he edited it and when it was edited? For -blam!- sakes dude just stop." The power to stop this has been within you all along. You just have to dig deep.
I've decided that the act of bumping or commenting to replies on one's own post shall be called "forum cheesing". If you don't agree please refer to the above passage regarding OPs opinion vs. yours. If you call me out for being guilty of this I shall reply with "no I'm not" and again, you will need to refer to the above.
Edit: 400 replies! OK seriously guys you're giving my scrub ass way too much attention. Go play the game or something. Learn a trade. Take up the guitar. Finish college. SOMETHING.
Edit: Now that we've hit 500, I just have to say, my faith in the community has been at least partially restored. 500-ish comments and zero negativity? Unprecedented gentlemen. Give yourselves a pat on the back. You've earned it. I'm keeping my golden Queen's panties trophy though. Smells divine and they're all mine.
Edit: Do I even need to say it? Or can we all just assume what this edit is going to be about?
Edit: This post is too long already. Who the hell is reading all the way to the bottom just to see what stupid attempt at humor regarding the comment number I come up with next? If you are one of the few who did... congratulations, I can't give you that time back.
Edit: If you're still reading this then you're confirmed 100% no life scrub and it's entirely your fault we're no longer on the trending page. Thanks dicks. Now what am I gonna do with my free time? I'm fresh out of coconut suntan lotion (again, your fault).
Edit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Do you guys realize how difficult it was for me to not cheese at 899?
Edit: The 1000 comments edit was requested so here it is. I'm curious (before you say it, no, not bi-curious you assholes lol). Did any of this assist you in avoiding the garbage you find here on a daily basis? Did it make you mouth/throat laugh, or nose laugh? Nose laugh being where air is forced out of your nostrils but your throat makes no noise. Did it give you the confidence to employ ruthless sarcasm when dealing with any of the above topics you see? If not, then I have failed you. Or you're doing something wrong. I'm more inclined to go with option 2 because if you've read this far you already know that I'm awesome.
English
#Destiny
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Pretty much sums it up but I think you forgot the post like Wow people still play this game People aren't bored with this game yet When this game come out destiny will be dead ETC....
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I'm commander Shepard, and this is my favorite thread on the forums.
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I'm a dapper gentleman. Do not mistaken me for a buffoon.
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3 RepliesSomeone give this man a -blam!-ing medal.
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3 RepliesLol sadly the worst part of what you said is the truest, every bad pvp player cries about nerfs so annoying
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6 RepliesThese are all legitimate points. Good post, Sir.
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I would like queens wraith back though but I still play iron banner
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1 ReplyYou forgot the response "-Insert number here- tears collected."
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Ha!!! I like it. Pretty much ......TRUTH!!
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3 RepliesI think the stupidity in this community is largely due to the self-entitled brats who populate it. You know; the ones who are always kicking up a fuss because: ⚫Someone got to buy something that they "earned" and they need to have it exclusively to feel special, due to their sad pathetic lives. ⚫Another player used a particular strategy/weapon to wreck them in crucible and rather than trying to learn to combat it, they complain and insist it must be nerfed, to protect their precious kdr, which is so important to them, due to their sad pathetic lives. ⚫They haven't received a certain weapon/armour item after a certain amount of time and they feel that they deserve to have it and therefore they must be given it to feel fulfilled... in a game, due to their sad pathetic lives. ⚫People don't play the game how they want them to and everyone should be following their grand example because otherwise we're hurting their playing experience, which is super important, due to their sad pathetic lives.
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+1 for this guy
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Lol, so freakin true man.
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1 ReplyI've never read anything so scrubby in my life, GG OP. (Real talk....you're the f*ckin man, keep fighting the good fight)
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1 ReplyEdited by Sikarii: 3/15/2015 3:31:46 AMI applaud anyone for already having put in over 10,000 years into Destiny, and they would have my condolences, as they missed out the one day in all those years that Xur sold Ghallarhorn.
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7 RepliesI enjoyed all of this besides the stab at Queen's Wrath. I've given up talking about it, but I still hope SOME PvE event comes around sometime. Iron Banner is good, but a little boring for me now.
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Also, if I get 69 likes on this, I'll name my kid Douche Bag.
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Perfect
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Lol best post I've ever read on these forums. Hit everything right on the dot haha
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Well played
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the vibsinatorc6b8b95f - old
This is too accurate -
Scrub x
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This made my night
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1 ReplyYou hit the -blam!-ing nail on the head, good stuff. On a side note I have had to mute so many people this past few weeks.
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Just replying for the sake of replying an awesomely funny good post.
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3 RepliesCrazy how corvette forum has zero issues similar to these. Everyone is super positive and supportive on there. Worst you see is someone saying they've never had issues with their z06 heads after boost and someone telling them they will. That's it.
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Well said