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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by helzTR: 3/15/2015 7:11:03 AM
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helzTR

what's the best destiny joke you've ever heard?

I laughed hard when I read "felwinters lie is the best sniper in the game" mostly because it's true. got another one! Your mamas so fat that when she spawns in he tower, Lord Shaxx says, "You're crushing them!" another momma one: Yo momma is so ugly that when she spreads her legs her ghost screams, "You've woken the hive!" for the people without it. my girlfriend is like my gjallarhorn, I don't have a gjallarhorn. .. I know one day everyone will have it, and it will be a beautiful day :') wow.. over 200 replies, that's way more than I expected. here's one more clean one: what do you call a hunter guarding a car? a vanguard

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  • Necrobump

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  • I'd tell you this one joke about Fate of All Fools but you won't get it.

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  • Edited by Chanmaster101: 11/9/2015 10:22:29 PM
    Bump

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  • A hunter, a warlock and a titan, walk into a bar. Inside at the bar, they see a jar filled with glimmer to the brim. They approach the bartender and inquire about the jar. The bartender tells them, "You pay 1,000 glimmer into the jar. There are three tests. If you can pass all three tests, you keep all the glimmer." "What are the tests?", the Hunter inquires. "Gotta pay first". The hunter, warlock and titan agree and pay in. "First, you have to drink that entire bottle of pepper tequila. The whole thing at once. And not make a face doing it." "Easy enough", the titan says. "Second, Master Rahool is hoarding an exotic heavy engram. You'll have to steal it from him. Not as easy at it sounds". The hunter smirks, "Good thing I have invisibility." "Lastly, that poor shipwright, Amanda Holliday. Always stuck in the hangar, busy with work, no company. Never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her", says the bartender. "I'll just use fireborn to bring back my erection if needed", the warlock remarks. All three guardians agree to the tests at hand. They each down they tequila. Tears are streaming down the Hunter's face, the warlock is sweating and squinting, and the titan handled the first one fairly well so he had a second--wasted beyond belief. One by one they take turns in their drunken stupor for the next part of the test. The hunter stumbles out to the Cryptarch. After a brief curse, he returns. "Forgot to switch to Bladedancer". Failed. The warlock glides out like a fairy trying not to trip over anything while dazed from the tequila. He went for the above approach. Easily caught by the Cryptarch. Forgot to use Angel of Light. Failed. Now the titan heads out. At first it is quiet. Then there is some yelling, some rustling like theres a tumble going on, and an abrupt few grunts. The titan returns. He hands the bartender a handwritten note Rahool gave him. It reads, "Come back before I get bored..." "That's not what I asked you to get!", the bartender says. The titan nods his head in a drunken pride and says, "Now where's that shipwright with the exotic engram?" [quote]Saw this on the forums a few weeks ago, didn't note the person's name.[/quote]

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    25 Replies
    • What could be a bigger joke than Destiny... [spoiler]those who defend it[/spoiler]

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    • The memearrow crota+atheon pov posts killed me. :)

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    • These are soo good

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    • If you see it, you can go there... 10/10 iGN

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    • I read this one on another post. A Hunter, a Warlock , and a Titan are in a crashing ship, the ghost said it can save the ship if they get rid of unnecessary weight, the warlock said," I have too much of these green engrams." and he threw them out, the hunter said," I have to much of these purple engrams." and he threw them out as well, the titan picked up the hunter and threw him out the ship saying " we have too much of these guys running around."

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      • The servers...

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      • The one about sleeper stimulant. Wait for it...

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      • The best one is on the back of the box. It says, "rich, cenimatic story-telling."

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        1 Reply
        • A guardian dressed as a Titan walks into the "Titans Only" bar on the 40th floor of the Tower. He walks straight up to the bar, slams 50 glimmer down and asks the bartender for a double scotch on the rocks. The guardian downs the drink in one gulp, walks over to the window, opens it and jumps out. At this point, all the Titans are looking around wondering what the hell just happened. One of their titanbros just killed himself. About 5 minutes later, the same guardian walks back in, slams 50 more glimmer on the bar, and asks for the double scotch on the rocks again. He downs the drink in one gulp, then proceeds top jump out the still open window. At this point, all the Titans are freaking out, they have no clue what's going on. Then one titan steps up, he's the biggest, meanest, toughest titan in the bar. He simply says, "That's nothing, if he can do it, I can do it!" This guy walks over to the bat, slams down 50 glimmer, drinks the double scotch in one gulp and jumps out the window. The bartender picks up the phone and calls Commander Zavala and Ikora Rey. He says, "You two may want to get up here, Wally the Warlock is using his Sunsinger to screw with the Titans again."

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          • Do u know why they say the moon is made of cheese... Because crota lives there

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            • Edited by UnwindingEar5: 10/16/2015 9:30:25 AM
              Lmao Titan is a moral class, couldn't stop laughing at this.

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            • Anybody else start their day off with a healthy bowl of hadium flakes? [spoiler]Also my favorite cookie is Xureos[/spoiler][spoiler]Dont worry I know where the door is and I'm already out of it BYE[/spoiler]

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            • A guardian dressed as a Titan walks into the "Titans Only" bar on the 40th floor of the tower. He walks straight up to the bar, slams 50 glimmer down and asks the bar tender for a double scotch on the rocks. The guardian downs the drink in one gulp, walks over to the window, opens it and jumps out. At this point, all the Titans are looking around wondering what the hell just happened. One of their Titanbros just killed himself. About 5 minutes later, same guardian walks back in, slams 50 more glimmer on the bar, asks for the double scotch on the rocks again. He downs the drink in one gulp, then proceeds to jump out the still open window. At this point, all the Titans are freaking out, they have no clue what's going on. Then one Titan steps up, he's the biggest, meanest, toughest Titan in the bar. He simply says "That's nothing, if he can do it, I can do it!" This guy walks over to the bar, slams down 50 glimmer, drinks he double scotch in one gulp and jumps out the window. The bartender picks up his phone and calls Commander Zavala and Ikora Rey. He simply says "You two may want to get up here, Wally the Warlock is using his Sunsinger to screw with the Titans again".

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              37 Replies
              • Best joke? We've upgraded our loot system so that you'll get more of what you doing have 1356888643 alpha Lupis later...

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              • It's not my joke but YOLO There was a titan, hunter and a warlock on the tower the warlock says " look at this" *throws a strange coin* Hunter says " oh yea" *tosses a throwing knife* The titan says " guys look" *throws a gernade* They look at the titan and go to the city to investigate.they find a little kid they ask her what happened the kid says I got hit by a coin they leave.they find a crying women they ask her what happened my dog got killed by a knife they sneak out then they find a guy who's laughing they ask him what happened hey said "I farted and then my house exploded"

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                51 Replies
                • A titan walks into a bar, he says "ow" A warlock walks into a bar, he says "ow" A hunter walks into a bar. Guardian down!

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                  7 Replies
                  • I saw 2 titans havoc fisting

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                  • Bungie

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                  • A Petition to stop petitions. Lmao😂😂

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                  • 310 light level you dont get it

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                  • The crucible

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                  • Are your moms pants green cuz the drop rate on them is so high

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