originally posted in:The Collective Anomaly
This was freakin' awesome! I love what you're doing with the Ghost. It's a great start, but there are some errors in there:
[quote] By the majority [/quote]
-Drop the capital "B"
[quote] he may lead go to [/quote]
-This sentence need to be revised a bit as to make more sense
[quote] The harsh blinding light illuminated the room, [/quote]
-try " The harsh, blinding light illuminated the room"
[quote] him. It was [/quote]
- try, "him; it was"
[quote] wonders, chaos and destruction [/quote]
-try, " wonders: chaos and destruction"
[quote] way the ghost display [/quote]
-displayed
[quote] himself buy [/quote]
-by
[quote] brains memory [/quote]
-brain's
[quote] guardians,but [/quote]
-just needs a space
[quote] Suppose his Voice [/quote]
-I don't think these need capitalization
Other than that it was a really good read!
English
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Edited by AndrewReam: 3/9/2015 9:20:09 PMThank for the criticism! I think I've learned my lesson, no more writing using the voice option on the keyboard xD that and autocorrect.....
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Yeah it may be better to write it out manually lol