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originally posted in: The legend of SmoggyPluto
Edited by DoubleOhStatus: 4/4/2015 2:44:32 AM
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When I was a nub, it was Smoggypluto who valiantly guided me through my first raid. Entering the vault As we approached the entrance of the vault, Smoggy says "you take mid its a piece of cake, I'll take left and right." What happened next was unfathomable. I never saw a pretorian, all i heard for the next 2 mins was Smoggy laughing maniacally as his Gjallarhorn ripped any vex who would dare to even phase into existence into shreds. The door opened and down the rabbit hole we went. Confluxes Before we jumped down for confluxes Smoggy looked at me and said "You see this, this is helm of the saint 14. Remember it. You can take the right conflux, stay by the stairs and let me know if you need help." As the first wave dissipated, I voiced a concern to Smoggy: "Hey, what do we do for legions?" Smoggy disregarded my existence and seemed to be talking out loud and said "Well scrubs usually go into the scrub cave and people who I've told to 'git gud' stand on top of the platform in front of the scrub cave but you're rolling with Smoggy Pablo!" "My name is Llama..." Smoggy walks up the center lane and puts a ward of dawn up then sits by the stairs as the fanatics who seem to go berserk in his bubble explode and make green goo inside the bubble. This happens 2 more times then the room goes silent. Oracles Smoggy calls me over and says "Pablo, go into the scrub cave and don't come out until I say so, and when I do call on you shoot the green box that appears here, the scrubs call it hidden left but it's there and I can see it, how can it be hidden?" He lets out a hearty laugh. After a couple of rounds Smoggy says to meet him in the middle lane. Templar He said "brb, got to get something from the maze up ahead." I stood there scared as I try to scan the place for the giant hydra that has been in this room. After about 3 mins Smoggy is back, covered in blood donning what looks like a white shield. "Don't ask." He said as if he read my mind. "Pablo, this is the Templar. He can only be hurt after you take down his shield with this shield." "So I'm taking his shield down and you're..." I was interrupted. "Heavens no Pablo! I would never put you in danger like that. I'll take his shield down, drop my shield and send em to hell with the ol SmoggyHorn! You can kill the harpies, that way I don't get overwhelmed." He smirked. A couple of minutes later, down goes the Templar. We go through the open door and descend deeper into the circles of hell. Maze We ran through a maze that had blood spattered in certain areas, it was weird. Jump Puzzle Smoggy calls me over as platforms begin to materialize and points to his helmet again, it seems to have changed. "This is called Helm of Innermost Light, its another one that you should remember." He then took me under his arm and instantaneously bridged the vast gap with ease. "Are you a magician or something?" I asked. "You mean those cheese factories that some people refer to as warlocks? I would never be caught dead in a room with those cheese heads. Silly Pablo." He scoffed. "I'm a warlock..." i said sheepishly. "Yes, i know. But you walk the path of the void. There is honor in that." "Oh we're here." He says as the symbol on the door glows and then opens. Gatekeepers Smoggy pulls me in close and says "Now we take down this gatekeeper, since i have a shield already you can defend the conflux as I go and get the second shield. I will then take care of these portals that spawn ascendant enemies." And as just as he planned it, it happened. The room goes quiet. I stared in horror as one of the shields on Smoggy's arms dematerialized. Atheon Smoggy catches my horror filled gaze and hands me the remaining shield. His helmet has changed to Saint 14 again. "Pablo, usually one has to go into a portal to retrieve the shield but you know ol Smoggy is always one upping these kids. I'm going to need you to put up the shield barrier and hold it ok? It'll protect you from supplicants as you draw their fire as well as Atheon's." "Supplicants?" I asked. "Harpies with a self destruct mechanism." He answered. I see Smoggy's vengeance activate and all of a sudden I feel invincible! The shield seems to have an unlimited energy reserve. Smoggy and Atheon trade blows back and forth as i scan the room and see all the suplicants whom are constantly bombarding the shield barrier. After a while I see Atheon stumble back as Smoggy cries out "Zavala sends his regards!" As he leeps onto Atheons chest, jumps off and fires Gjallarhorn down Atheon's throat. All the supplicants simultaneously explode as Atheon is reduced into ashes. "That was amazing Smoggy!" "I know. Hey can I ask you for a favor?" "Sure man, name it." "When you get back to The Tower, tell that scrub Kabr to stop spreading lies about his Vault exploits, about being alone, "legionless" or whatever. The only thing he got right was that his fireteam (me) vanished in the vault, I got freakin Weaseled after downing Atheon! The scrub picked up all the loot and bragged about soloing the vault since my name didn't come up in the official fireteam aftermath dossier." "Aren't you coming back with me?" "No Llama, hah yes i know your name, I'm staying behind and searching for the last chest. I feel it is my duty to do so." And that was the last time I ever saw The Legend we now know as Smoggypluto. Some say you can feel his presence whenever you enter the vault. Some say he found the last chest and the contents inside of it drove him mad...
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