So a few fallen, vex, hive, and cabal all meet up at a bar in the tower to drink over their problems, when suddenly they all get drunk (>implying a robot minotaur can get drunk) and have a massive drunken fistfight. Lightswitch is on. Who wins? -10 Captains, punching stuff to death with a special elitist four-armed martial art -10 Knights, beating stuff down with their massive broadswords they magically stuffed in their pockets -10 Minotaurs, teleporting everywhere, going HAM and bonking stuff on the back of the heads like a bunch of trolls -10 Collossuses, Roaring and body slamming stuff, throwing tables, ripping off countertops, and sitting on people. -The 4 guardians who didn't care to leave- A striker, a defender, a bladedancer, and a sunsinger. Too drunk to leave, didn't care. No guns though, because Chivalry and bro-code- fight like men Rules: -Cryptarch is randomly chucking exploding engrams (and upgrade materials, of course) into the arena -Xur is frantically trying to sell everyone Sunbreakers/Voidfang Vestments in exchange for strange coins during the fight -Randal the Vandal doesn't care for drunken bar fights, so he stays in the Cosmodrome with his bottle of Vodka -No noob launchers for minotaurs/cabal, this is a manly fight, all parties using fists -Close corridors=no captain cowardice, but they (and the minotaurs) keep their shields -Minotaurs are manly, no teleporting hobgob-buddiebros to help them during the fight -Guardians are allowed to use their abilities, after all those are innate and do not involve weapons [b]....So who wins the epic showdown, this drunken barfight in the tower?[/b] [b]Brought to you by Future War Cult: Our weapons, are in your loot.[/b] [b]Also co-sponsored by Xur: he's selling Sunbreakers and Voidfang Vestments at discount prices of just 13 strange coins.[/b] :')