This is amazing, the only thing I'd have to say is you're missing of's in some places and s's in places
English
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Hey do you have a PS4?
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If I make another, don't forget to check it out :>
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Absolutely! I'll be looking
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Edited by Sintemaza: 9/2/2014 1:56:59 AMThanks! Is it very noticeable? Does it still make sense / you can understand it OK? BTW I edited a lot just now
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Honestly not really but I'm like a grammar [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] when I'm reading. It's very well written and I can't wait for the second part. Let me know when it comes to!
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Edited by Sintemaza: 9/2/2014 2:02:54 AM<3 =D Hey, just because you criticized etc, I want YOU to pick the name for his [spoiler] vanguard he is apprenticed under. If you dont mind, something realistic and natural lol[/spoiler]
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What class is he?
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I never thought of it. I literally don't brainstorm or plan it out. This came from the top of my head. It's sort of a talent, I make plans like *snap* that. Stories too, but not crappy ones with your occasional goodie like Stephen King. He'll be a Warlock. (though my favorite class is Titan, Warlock fits Augustine's personality the most. RIP August)
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How about vanguard Rachel (hah I gave you a girl mentor to mix it up) and nah I have a ps3 I wanted the ps4 though.
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Edited by Sintemaza: 9/2/2014 2:23:46 AMAWESOME! I didn't think of girl. [spoiler] Her personality will be somewhat carefree, (unlike august's), sarcastic and playfully sassy. not in a flirty manner though. [/spoiler]