[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GameJunkieJim (Wizard of Oz music) [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] [color=green]Santa[/color] [color=red][b]Who dares question the Overweight, and wonderful Claus!!! There would indeed be a discrepancy in timeframe if I delivered those presents by myself... Haven't you heard of Santa's helpers?? That's right, I have a full blown army of fatties in red suits that run the mall circuit every year. They're each separated by region. I haven't delivered the presents myself since 1931, when Coca-Cola put me on the gravy train with a marketing campaign. Ever since, I've had the capital to employ thousands of members of the Santa Corps, who take the incredible burden of the spreading holiday. I, as many people know, am immortal. Para Noel is a big faerie after all! So I now use the magic inherent in myself to ensure that the descendants of the original flight crew [i](Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Vixen, and Bartholemew -- Donder was made up by someone trying to fit them into a poem, or something...)[/i] maintain their inherent ability to fly and assist the SC members in tracking homes to deliver gifts. (By the way children, the milk and cookies are nice, but the beer has to stop, I lost 4 Sleighs last year alone) I am constantly plagued by the rumors and flat out denials on the subject of my existence. Well I'll put it to you this way. I give out free stuff. You behave yourself, I give stuff to you. You doubt me, and I put your ass on the bad kid list, and it's getting huge. Santa's workshop is no longer the little workshop and house many of you picture. In accordance with ISO 9000 and OSHA requirements, as well as Llewellen telling me we needed to be Y2K compliant 5 years ago, the classic North Pole has spawned 3 factories, and a fully functional airport with GPS uplinking to the Sleigh Fleet. We also have T1. Ho-Ho-w00t!!!! Anyway -- tonight is my busy night, and so I must leave you all with a parting word: Santa is watching you (By the way Frankie, does your mother know you do that? And while the Cats watching!!!).Please remember the spirit of the Holiday Season. Special thanks to Jim, for letting me post here under his name. He's been such a good boy this year! PS: Geronimo? Nietzsche used to burn cats whiskers off and force them to walk balance beams. He got coal when he was 6. Never liked me since...[/b][/color][/quote] Wow.[/quote] thats almost as funny as the disproving Santa paragraph. Ho-Ho-w00t. that was classic. *imagines Santa playing Counter Strike*