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Edited by Liam Styler:
12/1/2015 6:43:56 AM
129
So I Met This Girl...
So I met this girl from work who is absolutely incredible. She's funny, smart, absolutely gorgeous, classy...and she even plays Destiny. She's the perfect package. Potential wife material.
The only problem is that she has no arms. It's like Mr. Clean quit his day job just so he could pose as nubs for her at the end. The only thing they'd be handy for would be a peg leg for a Pirate.
Normally, I'm not against dating women with half their dexterity, but she's crazily addicted to Destiny. It's interfering with my life due to the fact that I have to always be by her side because she can't move the controller. I just sit there holding it for her while she smashes her face into the buttons. It's even worse when she eats while she plays. My arms have gotten so tired that I even created a pulley with a bowl of food at the bottom just so she can bob for it.
Last night she was mashing the controller so furiously with her face that I actually thought I could use her as a jackhammer.
I don't know if I can handle it anymore.
I'd appreciate if if you guys could lend a hand..or two.
[spoiler]Based on a true story. [/spoiler]
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8 Replieshttp://i.imgur.com/tJLfGmr.gif?noredirect
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Edited by Noveriia: 12/3/2015 1:15:39 AMlmfao
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2 Repliesto everyone kicking off about this post.. remember it's just 'armless fun
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I laughed.
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This made my day man sooooo -blam!-ing jokes
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The double nubble tag has me in stitches
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Edited by wraith_1973: 12/3/2015 1:04:58 AMRoflmao My stomac hurts .... I can't stop laughing Omg ... The hash tags are op Thank you ... You're one funny person
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You condemned us all to hell. You knew we were going too laugh our asses off.
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I don't know what I just read, but something tells me you're going to hell.
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10 RepliesI thought it was a serious post and was heartfelt for OP until he said she didn't have arms.... why did She fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Her
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Jesus Christ
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I feel so awful laughing at this
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What in gods name?
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What did I just read
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Didn't read your post. Name is offensive.
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1 Replyfake and gay
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Edited by Shrimpism: 12/2/2015 9:47:36 PMI died
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1 ReplyBefore all the pussies in this forum report you and have this post taken down, I just want you to know that this story was poorly written and not very funny..... Except for the part about her smashing her head into the controller. That had me dying. Lmao here's a..... What's the difference between dead babies and a bag of assholes???? [spoiler] I don't eat dead babies. Lol [/spoiler]
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Why do people start sentences with 'so'??? It's just madness.
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Holy shit those tags my sides
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Edited by OG_PureKush: 12/2/2015 8:52:17 PMI almost believed it haha.... Then I kept reading
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And she turned out to be a man!
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Too funny!
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1 ReplyI cant seem to get the vision of her smashing her face/head on the controller lollllllll
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6 RepliesTaniks is to house just as girl is to arms
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I dated conjoined twins that were attached at the head... Broke up with them because they couldn't think for their self...
