JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by An Engram Full Of Bees: 11/27/2015 3:18:34 AM
219

Sex Ed with Eva Levante

[i]*Eva is standing at the front of the classroom*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Hello class! Welcome to Sexual Education with me, Mrs. Levante. Now before we get started, who can tell me the first thing they know about [i]having intercourse[/i]? [i]*Defender immediately raises his hand*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Yes? [i]*No response*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: [i]Defender[/i]? [b]Defender[/b]: Oh! Right! [i]*Defender stands up*[/i] [b]Defender[/b]: Well, my Mommy told me yesterday that before the Golden Age, peoples used to start by putting a saddle on them and tying it down. After that, they would hop on and they would ride and ride and ride. They knew it were time to stop when they got rashes on their bums. [i]*The room was silent; everyone was awkwardly gazing at the Defender boy*[/i] [b]Bladedancer[/b]: She said [i]having intercourse[/i], dumbass. Not riding a horse. [b]Eva[/b]: Ahem, thank you, Defender. For that... Interesting piece of information. Anyhow, children, sexual intercourse is when- [b]Gunslinger[/b]: Mrs. Levante, what's this? [i]*Gunslinger kid is waving around a wobbly pink toy*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Ummm... [b]Sunsinger[/b]: Oh my god, I think it's a Cabal! [b]Sunbreaker[/b]: LET'S KILL IT!!! [i]*The whole class immediately jumps from their seats and starts beating up the toy. Gunslinger starts shooting Golden Gun shots into it while Sunbreaker smashes it again and again with his Hammer. The rest of the class is screaming and shouting. They all cheer and clap as the toy eventually bursts into flames.*[/i] [i]*When everyone is done cheering, they all return to their seats and talk about the great victory amongst themselves*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Students! Please settle down and face the front of the classroom! [b]Oryx[/b]: But Mrs. Levante, that's the [i]back[/i] of the classroom. [b]Eva[/b]: Shut up, Oryx. [b]Oryx[/b]: Okay... [b]Eva[/b]: Class, this is very important information! All other guardians of today were born from their past lives. Reincarnation! You all are the first guardians born from reproduction. Without any aid from a ghost. That is what makes all of you so unique! [i]*the students all think about it, eventually nodding in agreement*[/i] [b]Voidwalker[/b]: So we're special because our parents were horny? [b]Eva[/b]: Yeah, pretty much. ------------------------- For all other Tower High posts, you can find it all right here: [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176176926/0/0]Tower High Overview[/url]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • I was only a level 20 I loved gjallarhorn so much i had all the bounties and telemetries to level it up I prayed to rngesus every night askin for a gjallarhorn gjallarhorn is love i say gjallarhorn is life my fellow guardians called me an idiot i knew they were jealous i was goin to get it first i called them gallyless they smack me with their truths and send me on patrol im cryin now and im gjallarhornless i sit on my sparrow its really uncomfortable a shank is movin towards me i feel it shoot me with a gjallarhorn i am so happy now it whispered into my helmet this is your gjallarhorn now It moves me with its gjallarhorn and moves me to my hands and knees Im ready i spread my inventory open for the shank it penetrates my armor I can feel my inventory gettin full as my eyes are watering i dismantle my uncommons i want to use the gjallarhorn the shank screaches as i tug the gjallarhorn off of it my fellow guardians pass by the shank looks at them staright in the eyes and says whos the noob now the shank flys off to the moon with my sparrow Gjallarhorn is love gjallarhorn is life

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    3 Replies
    1 2
    You are not allowed to view this content.
    ;
    preload icon
    preload icon
    preload icon