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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by An Engram Full Of Bees: 11/27/2015 3:18:34 AM
219

Sex Ed with Eva Levante

[i]*Eva is standing at the front of the classroom*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Hello class! Welcome to Sexual Education with me, Mrs. Levante. Now before we get started, who can tell me the first thing they know about [i]having intercourse[/i]? [i]*Defender immediately raises his hand*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Yes? [i]*No response*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: [i]Defender[/i]? [b]Defender[/b]: Oh! Right! [i]*Defender stands up*[/i] [b]Defender[/b]: Well, my Mommy told me yesterday that before the Golden Age, peoples used to start by putting a saddle on them and tying it down. After that, they would hop on and they would ride and ride and ride. They knew it were time to stop when they got rashes on their bums. [i]*The room was silent; everyone was awkwardly gazing at the Defender boy*[/i] [b]Bladedancer[/b]: She said [i]having intercourse[/i], dumbass. Not riding a horse. [b]Eva[/b]: Ahem, thank you, Defender. For that... Interesting piece of information. Anyhow, children, sexual intercourse is when- [b]Gunslinger[/b]: Mrs. Levante, what's this? [i]*Gunslinger kid is waving around a wobbly pink toy*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Ummm... [b]Sunsinger[/b]: Oh my god, I think it's a Cabal! [b]Sunbreaker[/b]: LET'S KILL IT!!! [i]*The whole class immediately jumps from their seats and starts beating up the toy. Gunslinger starts shooting Golden Gun shots into it while Sunbreaker smashes it again and again with his Hammer. The rest of the class is screaming and shouting. They all cheer and clap as the toy eventually bursts into flames.*[/i] [i]*When everyone is done cheering, they all return to their seats and talk about the great victory amongst themselves*[/i] [b]Eva[/b]: Students! Please settle down and face the front of the classroom! [b]Oryx[/b]: But Mrs. Levante, that's the [i]back[/i] of the classroom. [b]Eva[/b]: Shut up, Oryx. [b]Oryx[/b]: Okay... [b]Eva[/b]: Class, this is very important information! All other guardians of today were born from their past lives. Reincarnation! You all are the first guardians born from reproduction. Without any aid from a ghost. That is what makes all of you so unique! [i]*the students all think about it, eventually nodding in agreement*[/i] [b]Voidwalker[/b]: So we're special because our parents were horny? [b]Eva[/b]: Yeah, pretty much. ------------------------- For all other Tower High posts, you can find it all right here: [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176176926/0/0]Tower High Overview[/url]

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