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Edited by dmbfan09:
10/8/2015 12:40:36 PM
171
I miss my son
I just love spending time on Destiny, and these forums. Laughing at junk and the occasional appearance of "Butthurt". I've been spending more and more time trying to not think or feel reality.
Is it that I want to run from my problems?
Or is this game so great... its Captivating?
Heheh, I'll say its both. Things didn't workout too well between my babies mother and myself. I don't get to see my son every night and get to give him a kiss on the forehead before he sleeps. He turned one recently and man, he's getting big.
My dreams, my future, my son.
I'm making this post just to get a bit of what's in my mind out. Wow, I'm crying as I write this. Don't even know where to start. I lost all that was dear to me throughout the years. I feel lonely. I feel worthless.
I know, trust me I know. Look life in the eyes and just own it. Do it for your son! You have to believe in yourself!
I've heard it all before. I love my son more than anything in the world. But I threw in the towel for life. I'd rather not have. But I can't control myself. When I play Destiny, I feel like a beast. I feel wanted. I feel like people need me. So I rush to the highest levels and get the best gear so I can help others because hearing "thank you" or, "want to be friends? " means the world to me.
My dreams, were to be a professional fighter, a performer, an awesome father, and a game developer. My passion was mostly into fighting. But, it's all gone now.
Yes, I can get it all back... But, heheh...
No one understands me... you guys can let this thread die if you stopped by. I had no pen and paper handy so just wrote my thoughts here. But if you do relate... I hope you figure out how to get out of your situation cause I don't know how I'm making it... I'm a mess man... Ez guys
Edit: Guys... Never expected this from the Destiny community truthfully. Tonight has been one of the hardest nights of my life. And I want to thank everyone sincerely from the bottom of my heart for their helpful responses.
This post was to vent. It got a couple of replies and I realized, I needed positive interactions as opposed to another all nighter on destiny. So I tried replying to as much posts as I can. There are some awesome people out there and I am going to give life a real big fight with the energy you guys have given me. I hope I have the power of the community on my back because I feel paralyzed when I'm alone.
Thanks again, I'm getting back up, and here's for my boy. Thank you all
My lil man heheh http://imgur.com/CCUHjbE
English
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6 RepliesLife is precious, and suicide is a serious issue to be handled by licensed professionals. Bungie employees and forum moderators are not trained to handle those in a suicidal crisis; please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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1 ReplyHaving gone through something similar I can only tell you to hang in there. If you need to vent or just a fireteam buddy when feeling down feel free to add me. Surrounding yourself with positive ppl is a good start to healing. Keep your head up and eyes on the prize (your son).
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21 RepliesMy wife left me to be with another man cuz she is a whore and be fore anyone starts to flame me, I never beat her, always treated her with respect, and gave her plenty of attention. Let's just out it this way. She would get mad at me for waking up alive every day. Yes I have a six year old son with her but ever since she took my house and my child and even my dogs yes I have thought about killing myself because she never lets me see my son. Ever! Over the past summer I have not even spent 24 hours with him and its not from my lack of trying to see him and get him but she is is unlike anyone else. She does it cuz she can and knows its the only thing that hurts me. I will say destiny has kinda saved my life in away. It keeps my mind busy and from doing stupid things like not being around for my son. Hopefully he wok realize what kinda person his crazy bitch mother is. I'm sorry to add this to your post but I know where I are coming from and most the kids these days would just do nothing but treat u like garbage for putting something on here like this and I know most of this. Community could care less and would rather tell a person to kill themselves for some sick joke but they have no clue how the real world works. Life is a bitch, but Allah's person can Do is hope and without hope what does a person have!! Nothing, I don't care what ppl think of my post but I can say destiny has helped me through some though times and still does. Life is rough but at least I can escape in here for awhile each day I hope karma pays me back for once or something good will finally come my way. But untill then. I. Make the best of my situation the best I can..
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1 ReplyI know how much my kids mean to me and how hard it would be to lose them. My wife and I have had some pretty difficult times (Destiny helps, she's my main fireteam partner!). I fight for our relationship through those times because I couldn't stand to be away from my kids. It's not always a picnic, but even when I'm struggling I know my kids are there. That's worth it for me. Good luck.
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1 ReplyWith everything going on in your life, it's understandable that you feel overwhelmed and like you're about to drown. Trust me, I've been there with my own battles, and it's rough. Life is hard. Like a sword, people are placed into fire, hammered down and turned on their heads. It's this forging process that tempers you into a keen blade instead of a blunt cudgel. Right now, you're in that fire; you're being hammered; and you've been turned. Pull yourself out, cool yourself down and strike back at life. You might not feel like it every day, but a positive attitude at all times becomes habit. Show your son that he can be proud of you. Whatever else anyone says, know that you have my backing. Feel free to message me if you ever need anything.
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1 Replyomg hes so cute
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12 RepliesI hope things get better bro. I dont know your full circumstances but i know that sometimes digesting the words of a powerfull mantra can work wonders in finding moments of clarity in what seems like a hopeless situation. Id like you to read Invictus and let the words sink in. Words are power, and this has given strength to many. Invictus. Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit From pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley
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Eyes up Guardian. We all go through struggles, some are definitely tougher on us than others. Know that good things happen to people who do good for others. The pay out always comes when you least expect it and need it the most. So hang in there, because you've got a little boy to live for. A little boy who needs you to set an example for him. The situation may be bleak, but we are guardians, that's where we thrive. So keep fighting guardian. And look for the right fireteam to have your back my friend.
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Cool story bro!? Seriously, I can relate too what it is that shouldn't be that can have far reaching effects to the extent where faith in humanity is lost! Destiny: Without it, and purely by accident it occurred? Playing happily distracted, the game would log out almost automatically it would seem? I'd log back on, it would log back out? Hang on a second! Epiphany occurs. Create new account: Log on! Previous account is also logged on & active!? Maybe I'll send a message and friend request too the mystery online player? Son? Hi Dad! Comes back the response! Hallelujah! Microphone, check! Join Fireteam, check!..... Hello? Hi, Dad! Having not heard my Sons voice nigh on 6 months? We now play together daily, completing Strikes, Raids, Crucible missions and compare gear and trade war stories together...enter the dreaded Ex-0 Ultra "who's your new friend"? She would ask? It's Dad, Mum? He replies. Living together on the DreadNanna planet of exile! The lost Warlock (My Son) together with the Ex-0 Ultra it begins a war too end all wars! All the while the lonely Titan & lost Warlock, continue fighting the good fight against all manner of creatures, oblivious too the impending attack and stealth tactics being employed, to banish the lonely Titan into the abyss!? & leave the lost Warlock to fend off the hoard alone with no hope of being revived? The lonely Titan; having once again been banished too the furthest and darkest depths of the universe, flying aboard the Legendary Monte Carlos in search of his trusty companion, the lost Warlock. Has yet too be seen again in the flesh? (9 months have passed?) The lonely Titan begins to wonder if in the endless stretches of space and time, a Fireteam of 2, perfectly complimenting each other in combat, without peer? Will ever be reunited again and continue on as they had planned; towards the DreadNanna planet of exile and confront the QueenB-Ex(0.1) and destroy the evil that plagues these lands. To be continued...
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Edited by Xandurpein: 10/8/2015 12:07:49 PMI'm a divorced father of two sons. My boys are 15 and 17 now, and later this month the oldest one will technically be a man. I know a thing or two about missing your children, but ulitmately it's what you do for them that matters. Don't give up, man. Always strive to be a part of his life, because it's important to both of you. When he grows older he can understand that things didn't work out between you and his mom. He will grow up fine as long as he knows you love him and try to be in his life as best as you can. Don't ever bad mouth his mom even if she drives you crazy sometimes. Children want to love both their parents and will resent you if you try to make them take sides. Do that and one day you will ba able what I do now. Sit and talk Destiny with my sons. Watch proudly as my youngest boy grab the stick from his dad and deftly solo "Fear's Embrace" when I'm hopelessly stuck. Thank him with a bear hug and the promise to help him grind materials for his exotic sword quest. In short, don't ever let a game come between you and your son, and one they you may find a game that will bond you together.
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Keep fighting, never is too late for anything.
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#offtopic
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3 Replies#offtopic
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I'm sorry how things have turned out for you mate, my daughter is about the same age and I couldn't imagine not coming home to her, the thought of it upsets me enough so I can imagine the reality of it is far worse. But either way, he'll always be your son, and you'll always be his Dad, so just hold on to that thought, dust yourself off and carry on, because the world is a big place and it'll keep spinning with or without you brother, and being stuck in a rut will not only affect you, but also your relationship with your son... Chin up and be strong man Peace
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Stop telling him to go to #Off-topic. Anyone that's been there knows he's not going to get the attention he craves hence him posting here.
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Keep fighting bro
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Chin up, couldn't imagine life without my seeing children everyday.
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Nothing's more important than your son. You take care of that little man.
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You may not feel wanted, but trust me, we want you. [spoiler]Sounded a lot better in my head. But still, my point still stands.[/spoiler]
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#Offtopic maybe?
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Hang in there, OP. *insert cat pic here*
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Btw he's just looking for a ear to listen to and the ppl saying negative stufd to this guy maybe I should do the world a favor and end yer life cuz it's u cruel ppl like u that make this world suck and could actually cause someone to end their life cuz I have no clue what it's like it the real world and the world need less ppl like the ones saying negative things to this post..
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What happened? I don't understand with the post is saying.
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Praying for you man
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oh man i can totally relate to this post but from a different perspective. Hope everything works out for you bro :3
