I was brutally attacked by a tree. Keep in mind that I am a pro with 4-wheelers, godly in fact. Yet while I was riding a tree suddenly pierced my skin with it's little pointy green blades. As I recover from my initial shock the tree looms over me with a ferocious aura. I attempted to do what any sane person would do and tackled it with a bear hug to show dominance. He shook savagely as he stabbed me repeatedly. It was at this moment I realized that I am now a beta so I took off at full speed with my moobs flapping. It wouldn't have been a majestic tactical retreat if the tree had not followed me and killed me. This is why we have deforestation.