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Destiny

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7/3/2015 8:09:31 AM
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Updates We All Want But Will Never Get. (Satire)

Okay, this is for all of you to post a mock update we all want but will never get. Mine is below. [quote]"Hello, Deej here. I know all the complaints you have made. All the noise, all the hate. We are listening. I know, we say that a lot, but it's true. And here is proof. Starting today: All Non US players play the same price as the US. In fact, we are lowering the price to $25 across the board. Asking you to pay for the Collector's edition content was cheeky we admit. Thus, you will ALL get it for free. We have a team working on providing daily content now. Each day will have a new release in Destiny, sometimes small like a new weapon or armour, or large. For free. Tomorrow we begin this new policy by expanding Earth so you can go to the Ruins of Old Chicago. In one months time the Ruined Jungles of Africa too. We are releasing all new modes: updated patrols with new rewards, Sparrow Races, new strikes (And we mean NEW, not just reversed levels) several new PVP modes, and more. Three new classes per Character type. Total Weapon Rebalencing. When we are done, no weapon will be OP or UP, but rather all will be a viable option with unique play, especially the exotic. No more Thorn imbalance or lack of Super Good Advice use. Several new enemy races. Matchmaking for all modes and variations. We finally release The City, with all new events like gambling, shooting ranges, and more. New Public Events that require inginuity and exploration: Amakara hunts, tower attacks and more. And finally, we have begin our world takeover by overthrowing our FORMER corporate masters Activision.You can expect such new kind treament to apply to ALL of our games, from Skylanders to Call of Duty. Se you on the flipside Guardians.[/quote]
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  • 6 months later... Bungie Studios goes bankrupt due to non-profit model business practices, which included: over-worked employees, zero dollar price tag policy on all future dlc, and a severely uneducated & unethical community of babies.

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