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Edited by BenjyX55:
4/12/2015 9:58:15 PM
64
This was a success. Thanks for buying that crap.
EDIT: Before Reading: this was not a serious thread. It was a social experiment of sorts. More details below.
Original post:
[quote]
I've tried to figure things out for myself. I've tried to be patient. But I've gotten nowhere, and now I've been driven to the unthinkable. I'm going to ask the flood for girl advice.
Some background: I'm 16 years old and I have had zero success with girls. Not a single girlfriend. Not a single date. I haven't even ever got the courage to ask a girl out. I struggle to even be noticed by girls. I've met many girls that I think I could have liked, but nothing ever happened. I'm completely clueless.
So flood:
How do I know if a girl likes me?
How can I get a girl to like me?
What should I do if a girl likes me?
What do, flood?
[/quote]
EDIT: this thread was made due to a bet that a relationship advice thread would receive less than 50% "toast/envelope" replies. I won. I suppose I should give you all a cut, but I won't.
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7 RepliesIsn't it funny how the the human mind doesn't process reading two "the's" when they are next to each other in the same sentence? Read it again :) Do this in your head, What's 1+1? What's 2+2? What's 4+4? What's 8+8? Name a vegetable. [spoiler]Was it a carrot?[/spoiler] Count every " F " in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ? 3? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down. [spoiler]The brain cannot process "OF".[/spoiler] Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. Cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The Phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, It deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae . The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If You can raed this psas it on !!
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1 ReplyAh, but did you count the comment chains?
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1 Replytoast/envelope method works 100% of the time
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Bhamp.
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Maybe you're gay?
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1 ReplyDivide by 0 [spoiler]bump for old school Internet humor [/spoiler]
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I have teh step by step guide on how 3 wemmens. Step 1: You need bollocks Step 1+1: kno if u grey or nah Step Drei: Toast/envolope.
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Everyone goes through this "hopeless" phase. Everyone. You'll be fine.
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Confidence. Also you're 16 don't worry about it that much yet, too much shit happens around that age anyways
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First place two greasy pieces of white bread in the toaster. After they are transmuted into toast. Place them in a crisp white envelope and give it to the girl of your choosing. Bam
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I knew a guy who had this theory that if he just keeps asking girls out, [i]eventually[/i] one would say yes. He mostly got rejected, but every now and then, he'd land himself a date. Girls like confidence, and if they feel up to it, they will go on at least a date to get to know a guy Better if he seems confident enough. Now, said friend was not attractive. Maybe there was something girls saw, but I thought he was ugly AF. dude dated the hottest chicks through the last two years of high school and is now married to quite the attractive broad, two kids, yadda yadda... All because of confidence. Tl;DR: confidence. Fake it till you make it.
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The D.E.N.N.I.S system
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Be james rodriguez =girls
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Show her your fedora collection. Bitches love fedoras.
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2 RepliesEdited by Tormented_Anus: 4/12/2015 4:38:09 AM1) approach girl with swag mode turned up to 100% 2) look deep into her eyes 3) look down at her breasts 4) look back up at her face 5) tell her, "your boobs are fūcking beautiful" 6) grab one (or both) of them 7) squeeze gently 8) take her hand and guide it down to your raging erection 9) tell her to jerk you off while continuing to massage her boobs 10) she will start giving you a handjob, 100% guaranteed 11) ęjaculate onto her 12) wake up from daydream and cry *most important step*
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take about 500mg of DXM
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Sounds like you're lusting after someone. Best way to deal with your hormones is to let them explode inside of this someone.
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I think you need to figure out whether or not [i]you[/i] want a girlfriend or you just [i]think[/i] that you want one. You're only 16. I've known guys who didn't start dating until they were 19 or 20.
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Toast/Envelope method is the only way to solve your problems.
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Edited by Heron: 4/12/2015 5:16:26 AMYou said; girls that you think you [i]could[/i] have liked, does that mean you havnt found a girl that you really [i]do[/i] like? And if that is the case. Don't feel pressured to date someone if your not sure you have feelings for them. It's better to just wait until you find a girl you really like and want to have a relationship with.
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3 RepliesMan up pussy
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I've never had a girlfriend either and I'm 15. I don't really know how to help you get one, but I haven't had one because I don't really like anyone I've been around...
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1 Reply1. Walk up to said girl. 2. Gently place your hand on back of her head. 3. Forcefully shove her head toward your crotch area. Doesn't matter if your penis is out or not. 4. be prepared and watch as the miracle of love happens before your very eyes.
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Muted.
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Quit being so edgy
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Walk up to pretty girl Ask her out If she says no go to step 1 If she says yes go on date
