I visited the Cryptarch today after my usual weekly Roc strike runs. After a while, the strikes seemed to blur together, and my eyes grew weary. I had my fill of rare (and a few legendary) engrams and glimmer turn-ins, and decided that Master "Of Dissapointment" Rahool would yet again receive the fruition of my business. My ship was nearing the tower and my screen went black. That, my friends, was when all hell broke loose. My eyelids, half closed and contemplating their complete rotation as my chair retracted, suddenly jolted open as I heard the demon himself speak calmly into my ear from 30 feet away. His voice was gentle but oddly striking, like a passionate lover speaks in the ear of their other half as their bodies violently connect. "Guardian!" I jumped in my chair. My screen was still black. I had not yet touched the tower floor, and his voice still undeniably entered my eardrums. Maybe I had not gotten enough sleep, or maybe I had just had enough of him. Either way, I was mad. I was fuming. I had a bone to pick with the Cryptarch. I approached him immediately, but before I was close enough to angrily shake my fist, he got out the first word: "Gotta get out among the- WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?!" I understood what he was saying. My character wasn't the most handsome of Awoken Warlocks, but nevertheless, offense was taken. I retorted. I mean, can you blame me? Who did this guy think he was, snatching the beautiful bliss of a nap away from me as soon as it was within my grasp, only to reiterate his douchebaggery with insulting my physical appearance? "You got some nerve, Rahool." He tried to ignore me, humming to himself and fiddling with his stupid Cryptarch iPad, praying I would go away. I remained standing in front of him. He must have realized that I wouldn't back down, because he finally responded. "Guardian, do you need something?" "No, it's you that needs something." He paused for a moment. I walked closer to him threateningly, to which this ballsy, belligerent baron promptly reacted: "Be safe." This staggered me a bit. I had to regather my thoughts. Did he just threaten me? "Did you just threaten me?" "What are you looking for, Warlock?" This guy. "Depends, do you really want to get into a fight like this? I don't think that would be very smart of you, "Master Radrool." "Where to Begin?" I snapped. I went for the leg sweep, initiating a power slide as I let out my war cry. "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOO" He remained unscathed. I stood there, in front of this blue-skinned, yellow-eyed, smile-cracking, smart-assing, kitty-kicking, child-abusing, world-burning Cryptarch, every fiber of my being wishing so desperately to launch a closed fist into his virtual face. But I was bigger than that. I began to walk away to my vault. I had nothing more to say to him. Until he egged me on. "Come back before I get bored." I closed my vault. Using my 3rd person view, I scouted the LZ of my attack. He let out another of his pithy remarks: "Too noisy? Hmph. You can't hide in the quiet of the archives all your life." That was the last straw. I ran as fast as I could to the big purple ball perched on the boxes next to the Bounty Collector. "Checking for bounties, guardian?" "F**k your bounties!" "Acknowledged." I hit the ball all the way over to the Cryptarch. He did not like that. "Be careful." I jumped up. The universe slowed time, and I stared down at this abomination with fire in my eyes. I let out another battle cry as I landed on the ball, launching it toward his hooded, hell-filled head. It was an unequivocal, unavoidable, direct hit. "Ah these headaches, I swear, these symbols, I see them in my dreams!" A hardy chuckle bellowed from my mouth as I pulled out my ghost to quit while I was ahead. The timer circle neared its close, and I was orbit-free with the last laugh. At least, that's what I thought, until I heard him again. "Always a pleasure." I believe you can guess at the whereabouts of my next destination. --- To see the rest of my stories, click this link: [url]https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/108243048/0/0[/url]