For years now Guardians had been making chili, a delicacy due to the fact that after the collapse many materials had been destroyed. This means only a person such as the speaker or Zavala can make it. There are three judges, a Titan, a 'Lock, and a Hunter. #1 Zavala's dreg wrecking supreme. Warlock: Very spicey, I can already tell I'm going to have flaming ass hair later, but all together very good. Titan: Oh my god that was amazing. I just had a chiligasm, I swear to god. The use of rare peppers and... stuff just gives me a massive boner. Hunter: Despite what my kiss-ass colleague just said, this... bowl of shit tastes like shit. Believe me when I say that because I know what shit tastes like, okay? The second I smelled this my nose hair began to singe and my eyebrows are gone. Oh, and I can forget about shaving because as soon as your corrosive stew touched my beautiful mustache it fell off into my "soup." You sir, are a mighty Titan but on this day you have fallen. #2 The Speaker's useless vendor stew: Warlock: Good use of Ghost pepper, I like this. Titan: Is there a Titan Mark in my soup? Hunter: What the f*ck is this?!? Why would you put a ghost pepper in chili? Did you forget that people were going to eat it? Or did you try to kill me? For one there is a cloak in my soup and I nearly choked to death, Eris frickin Morn had to reach down my throat and pull cloth out of my throat! I can't even feel anything in my mouth anymore! Remember how the last one singed my nose hair? Yeah, well that same hair is on fire and it's not a comfortable feeling. My tongue is in so much pain right now that I had to bite down to keep it from jumping out of my mouth and running in front of a train. Go sell some cloaks or something, and never come back here. Shaax's brain tingling concoction: Warlock: Oh shit, I think I just lost control of my bowels. Titan: I need to use the bathroom... Hunter: Despite the fact I'm sitting in a pool of my own diarrhea, I think this is the first chili I've enjoyed tonight. I'm blind in one eye, I have brain damage and I am internally bleeding, but after The Speaker's chili I can't taste anything. You could set off a Nova Bomb in my mouth and I wouldn't feel a thing. But that was the good and as always there has to be a bad. This has plaster in it... I checked. It is confirmed as 53% plaster, 22% pain, 25% death and 100% you're paying for my medical bill. My small intestine has been plastered shut by your chili and sooner or later, it's gonna blow like a hose being squished. I the good side as soon as I get out of surgery I'll be able to empty out because this "soup" blew a hole on my rectum and it will be no problem. All in all every one of these chilies has given me reason to kill myself. Someone please get me a beer and call the ambulance, I think I'm gonna die. Edit: Please go easy on me, I'm not sure if this is gonna be a hit or a miss but you're welcome to leave feed back. Hope I made you laugh. Edit 2: No class wars intended. I am a Hunter and not saying they're all rude.