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8/26/2014 10:49:45 PM
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NATO

Politically Correct Santa.

HumorMatterstm Christmas A Politically Correct Christmas Poem Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened". To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation. So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms. And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur... Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot, Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific, Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden, for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe. and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed, he just couldn't figure out what to do next? He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere...even you! So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... O wait no it aint. It was outlawed last week.
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  • Yeeeeaaah
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  • Christmas bump
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    2 Replies
    • Edited by Drksteel: 12/24/2014 7:10:46 PM
      That was entertaining to read.
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    • Cracking! But what was outlawed?
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    • 1
      Yes
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    • Who votes to ban Tyler Durden from everything ever? Someone start a poll thread or something
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      2 Replies
      • I imagined Bender acting out and reading the last part then laughing.
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      • Have a merry bumpmas
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      • IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE
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      • I will bump this on Christmas. 10/10
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        1 Reply
        • 0
          Xboxdotcom
          Xboxdotcom

          You don't choose to become legend - old

          Bumping
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        • 0
          Xboxdotcom
          Xboxdotcom

          You don't choose to become legend - old

          Bump
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          • Awesome bro it was funny as hell
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          • I read that entire thing.... And it was -blam!-ing hilarious.
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          • Ho ho ho, you get a dick in a box Better than another year of boring socks You can suck it blow it Don't be afraid to show it
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          • Reminded me of this.
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          • 100/10! You sir get a cookie and Coca-Cola from me... Oh sorry, it's unhealthy. Make that a box of raisins and a diet water XD
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            1 Reply
            • Nein! Politically correct Christmas isn't Christmas it's saturnalia.
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            • 0
              Xboxdotcom
              Xboxdotcom

              You don't choose to become legend - old

              Liberals saying it's racist lol. St nick was white in real life
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            • I'm so fly that I shouldn't even walk
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            • 0
              Laser
              Laser

              Got my Halo emblems back! - 7/25/2016 7:18:19 PM

              Did you make this up? Or was it that HumorMatterstm name at the top?
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              1 Reply
              • Would read again in December.
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              • And right here you can read how threatened the American white conservative male is.
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                18 Replies
                • What was the gift?
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                  • lol... 10/10 was great...and also a little depressing.
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                    2 Replies
                    • Damn I missed you.
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