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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.

Edited by SpaceDandy: 7/4/2014 4:34:00 PM
87

ALERT! Milk Shortage Could Be Our Doom!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my indiscriminate attention that there is an extremely severe danger at hand! This stems deeper than the looming darkness just beyond our grasp, and threatens Humanity in a much more devastating manner than we could have imagined! Where. Is. The. MILK!? Where are the COWS!? People, this is of crisis-level seriousness! To elaborate on this alarming situation, there are no cows to be seen in the remaining Worlds of Destiny, leading my scholars to believe that there is, at present, a shortage, if not complete absence, of milk. Milk, as we all know, is a healthy part of everyone's breakfast, and contains calcium, a major component of bone strength, BONE STRENGTH! Ladies and gents, if you do not fully understand the true nature and scope of the role that healthy bones have on the effectiveness of guardians, allow me to assure you, Humanity is lost if we do not save the cows. Now that you're informed, it's time to talk strategy. My scholars and I have decided to send any fire teams willing to take on the deadly task of coordinated search and rescue operations to return the cows, and thus the milk, to a safe location that will be discussed in the briefing. These missions will be tedious, and not all of you will survive, but if we fail... None of us will be able to withstand the coming fire. If these preliminary operations do not succeed, there is another way. It's a long shot, but if it comes to this, we must do whatever it takes. Should the fire teams assigned to the task force return inconclusive, or are wiped out, we must all band together and worship the mighty Cow God, Mooshroom. REMEMBER: Without the milk to amply supply our bones to endure the inevitable explosions, we will be obliterated, and our enemies will finish their conquest. This may be our only hope. Free the cow.
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  • Ha doesn't effect me since I can't have it.
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  • I worship one cow and one cow only, the one true cow god: Edgar.
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    • That's what you get for not going Exo.
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      • Space cow that automatically makes chocolate milk works for me
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        • From the infamous words of diablo 3: There is no cow level
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          • the Blue Milk in Star Wars is Synthetic milk that has all the same properties as regular milk >.>
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          • Free his mother he's begging you,[spoiler]lol [/spoiler]
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          • Did you check the buffet line for those cows?
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            • wat? TL;DR
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              • With human lifespan tripled with the travelers arrival. Maybe Cow Milk after certain age is poisonous like alcohol reducing Human lifespan? If thats trues, us guardians in a former lifetime exterminated those vile beasts by eating the whole race. No wonder why chicken tastes like everything.
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                • Exo's dont need milk
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                • I'm in.
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                • As a Champion of Khorne, the lack of milk is disturbing....how will I have khorneflakes for breakfast without Milk?
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                • Obviously they are hidden away in a raid somewhere and it will be our duty to save them.
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                • Edited by Caytus The Heir : 7/4/2014 8:49:39 AM
                  If youve seen the futurama episode where bender gets heaps of microscopic benders that turn water into beer, youd know during the golden age of humanity we would have attained the ability to do this sort of thing, milk is not an issue, do not worry. Worry about the cabal stealing what milk (and cookies) weve got! If this happens, we'll be destroyed instantly! Getting these cows to safety within the walls of the last safe city on earth under the traveller to boost our reserves is of the utmost importance!
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                  • It's too hot outside to drink milk dude! "Milk was a bad choice"
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                    • #savethecows2014
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                      • Tl;dr I like cows.
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                        • Then what the hell are we doing standing around man! When and where is this briefing! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOW! This cow crisis will only get worse the longer we wait!
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                          • I'm an Exo. We don't need that kind of sustenance. Starve meatbags, starve!
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                            • #FreeEdgar2014
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                              • Cows were all hunted down by the Fallen, they were closely related to something in their religion as demons.
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                                • I'm an Exo who runs solely on milk. This issue is very important to me, so I will do my part in saving the cows.
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                                • This has translated into something greater, vote today. http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post?id=65926859
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                                • Edited by maltesewolfman: 7/4/2014 4:13:06 PM
                                  If we run out of milk I run out of ice-cream Then I'll have to eat people instead, hopefully they'll have a cookies and cream flavoured person [spoiler]if it comes to that we'll have no choice [/spoiler] [spoiler]save the cow[/spoiler]
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                                  • I worshipped Mooshroom and a cow fell from the sky completely safe!!! It's a miracle!!!
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