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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.

Edited by SpaceDandy: 7/4/2014 4:34:00 PM
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ALERT! Milk Shortage Could Be Our Doom!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my indiscriminate attention that there is an extremely severe danger at hand! This stems deeper than the looming darkness just beyond our grasp, and threatens Humanity in a much more devastating manner than we could have imagined! Where. Is. The. MILK!? Where are the COWS!? People, this is of crisis-level seriousness! To elaborate on this alarming situation, there are no cows to be seen in the remaining Worlds of Destiny, leading my scholars to believe that there is, at present, a shortage, if not complete absence, of milk. Milk, as we all know, is a healthy part of everyone's breakfast, and contains calcium, a major component of bone strength, BONE STRENGTH! Ladies and gents, if you do not fully understand the true nature and scope of the role that healthy bones have on the effectiveness of guardians, allow me to assure you, Humanity is lost if we do not save the cows. Now that you're informed, it's time to talk strategy. My scholars and I have decided to send any fire teams willing to take on the deadly task of coordinated search and rescue operations to return the cows, and thus the milk, to a safe location that will be discussed in the briefing. These missions will be tedious, and not all of you will survive, but if we fail... None of us will be able to withstand the coming fire. If these preliminary operations do not succeed, there is another way. It's a long shot, but if it comes to this, we must do whatever it takes. Should the fire teams assigned to the task force return inconclusive, or are wiped out, we must all band together and worship the mighty Cow God, Mooshroom. REMEMBER: Without the milk to amply supply our bones to endure the inevitable explosions, we will be obliterated, and our enemies will finish their conquest. This may be our only hope. Free the cow.
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    ElderWolfWalker
    ElderWolfWalker

    Muted :) - old

    Ok?
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  • As long as there are holes, there are cows because, as we all know; Edgar is the One in the Hole!
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  • This thread exploded from being a five post conversation between us. It was in the middle of someone's thread about the alpha being terrible to this. I'm proud that my simple reply of chocolate milk helped inspire you to take the time to make this thread.
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    • Milk doesn't even have that much calcium. Green veggies like spinach have tons more, and you reserve the right to talk like Popeye
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    • The time for action is now! We must act in order to save the tittylicious fluids of good health!
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      SPARTAN A145
      SPARTAN A145

      The Lord High Fatebringer shall rise. - old

      Is this the same guy that made that thread about the cabal capturing the cows and making them sex slaves? Because I remember that thread. It wasn't very pretty.
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      • I like how the entire forum is about how milk is poisonous.
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        • Milk is actually poisonous to the human digestive system. The only reason we drink it is because our bodies have gotten used to it, but it is still poisonous in the long run.Alternatives to cows milk are rice, almond and soy milk.
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          • So no cows means no milk and no milk means no yogurt, butter or cheese. This is simply unacceptable. What am I supposed to eat for breakfast? Oatmeal? Time to put our ghost to proper use and stop making them revive dead people. It's cow reviving time!! Round them up!!
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              Well, it looks like im the one that has to say this. What about HUMAN milk?? Or maybe awoken milk
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              • Edited by Nacropolice: 7/6/2014 1:35:53 AM
                Fun Fact: It is unnatural for humans to consume milk past our breastfeeding days, in fact it can also corrode our bones =) In other words, this milk shortage is a good thing for us: BOBBIES FOR EVERYONE!!! <-- (You are envision that line spoken in the same Arabic voice that shouts "AK47S FOR EVERYONE!!)
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                • After being resurrected from the dead I think milk consumption is the last of my worries
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                  • Two words, exo milk
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                    • What about beef?
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                      • Wow, this will be a dangerous journey, oh my god. i just relaized, no milk no ice cream!!! We must find them!!!
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                        • We don't need milk, at all lol
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                        • Oh dam. Tat doesn't sound fun
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                        • Wat?
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                          • Edited by maltesewolfman: 7/4/2014 4:13:06 PM
                            If we run out of milk I run out of ice-cream Then I'll have to eat people instead, hopefully they'll have a cookies and cream flavoured person [spoiler]if it comes to that we'll have no choice [/spoiler] [spoiler]save the cow[/spoiler]
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                            • Well I don't know about you but my exo's got a replicator in his chest cavity. a replicator is a machine capable of creating (and recycling) objects. Replicators are used to synthesize meals on demand. Mine is the only one in existence that's able to make MILK....
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                              • What the hell, I requested scholars for my studies years ago, and now you get some because you claim there are no cows in Destiny? [spoiler]Blasphemy![/spoiler]
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                                • But....there is no cow-level....
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                                  • Oh god you're right!
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                                  • milk was a poor choice [spoiler]who got the refernce[/spoiler]
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                                  • I heard that any surviving cows have become sex slaves for the Cabal. Let's go reclaim what we've lost, Guardians.
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                                    • Pretty sure we don't need milk we are basically zombies if we die the ghost will just revive us
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