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10/21/2020 8:53:10 PM
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Today's Breakfast, at 3:38 pm...

...shall be two packs of Great Value brand Maple & Brown Sugar Naturally Flavored Instant Oatmeal! Firmly grasp the packs from the top and shake em. Then, pour the contents into a microwave safe bowl, or in my case an old tupperware bowl that you're pretty sure can go in the microwave. Bump the faucet handle ever so slightly to get that trickle and fill the bowl up enough that the stuff looks wet! Now stick it in the microwave for a minute and thirty seconds! ... then open and shut the door a few times, slap the damned thing, and unplug it and plug it back in, slap it again, ah! There it finally goes! Once it beeps, take it back to the sink you totally didn't forget to shut off and pour a bit more water over the oatmeal. Shut off the sink this time. Grab a spoon and stir! Maybe wait a bit longer for it to cool off before taking another bite. Dump the oatmeal because you just remembered the well water is contaminated again. For a side dish, we shall be having a couple stale Hyvee Fortune Cookies from a ziploc bag my grandmother dropped off the other day. Bon appetit!
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