The Guardian, Zavala and Ana enter the Warmind chamber/bunker
“(Russian)”- Rasputin
“[i]Im Rasputin, defende...[/i]”- Ana
“Why is he speaking Russian?”- You
“What do you mean?”- Ana
“Why is he speaking Russian? It made sense while he was believed to be that ‘shard’ of his mind on the cosmodrome, but now? And you said that all Warminds are ‘shards’ of his mind, so do they all speak Russian?”
“Uhh...”- Ana
“If I was alone without my Ghost or you translating, I wouldn’t understand a word of what he’s saying. So if I ever need his help and I don’t have either of you, it’s not gonna work”- You
“Good point... Why don’t you speak English, Rasputin?”- Ana
“(Russian)”- Rasputin
“He said that he enjoys Russian”- Ana
“But does he know English?”- You
“Probably. They must have it programmed on his database”- Ana
“So, why isn’t he speaking English right now, so that we can understand?”- You
“(Russian)”- Rasputin
“See?”- You
“He said that he doesn’t want to speak English”- Ana
“For the Traveler’s sake, I killed a worm god for him! Can’t I have that [i]honor[/i]?”- You
“(Angry Russian)”- Rasputin
“He said that if you continue with that attitude he is going to vaporize you and your Ghost”- Ana
“I knew it! He should not be truste...”- Zavala
Zavala is then vaporized by Rasputin
“ZAVALA! WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”- You
“(Russian)’- Rasputin
“He said that you could be next”- Ana
“That thing is crazy!”- You
“(DANGEROUSLY ANGRY RUSSIAN)”- Rasputin
“He hates to be called ‘thing’...”- Ana
“Now he’s sentimental? He just vaporized Zavala! He’s insane!”- You
Shots are heard
“What was that?”- You
“I don’t know...”- Ana
Then the Guardian receives a call
“[i]Guardian? Cayde here. So, we are having some strange readings coming from Mars, and as you are conducting an operation there I figured out I could call you for a status repor... Wait a second, I’m receiving a call on the emergency channel. *[u]Yes? You figured out what that was? Wait, missiles? Who the heck would fire missil... Crap!*[/u]Guardian! What is the status on Rasputin?[/i]”- Cayde
“We might have pissed him off...”- You
“[i]YOU PISSED THE HIGHLY ARMED WARMIND?![/i]”- Cayde
“When you put it like that...”- You
“[i]HE LAUNCHED MISSILES AT THE LAST CITY! WAIT RIGHT THERE! *Yes? They’re already on the MOON? [b]EVERYBODY! ALERT THE CITY! TO THE EMERGENCY BUNKERS![/b]* GUARDIAN! YOU ARE...[/i]”- Cayde
An explosion is heard and the call ends
“At least he won’t die to Uldren... Anyway HE JUST DESTROYED THE CITY!”- You
“(Russian)”- Rasputin
“He said that he will destroy more things if you don’t apologize...”- Ana
“I’M NOT APOLOGIZING! IS HE STUPI...”- You
The Guardian then is vaporized, the franchise ends and everybody thanks Rasputin
[i][b][u]THE END![/u][/b][/i]
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(Me, working in my lab) Ghost? Do you hear some-(explodes)
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Zavala: What have we done...
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10/10
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Russian is the only thing our guardian can remember from his past life, what a commie
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How the HISHE shoukd The Guardian, Zavala and Ana enter the Warmind chamber/bunker “(Russian)”- Rasputin “[i]Im Rasputin, defende...[/i]”- Ana “Why is he speaking Russian?”- You “What do you mean?”- Ana “Why is he speaking Russian? It made sense while he was believed to be that ‘shard’ of his mind on the cosmodrome, but now? And you said that all Warminds are ‘shards’ of his mind, so do they all speak Russian?” “Uhh...”- Ana “If I was alone without my Ghost or you translating, I wouldn’t understand a word of what he’s saying. So if I ever need his help and I don’t have either of you, it’s not gonna work”- You “Good point... Why don’t you speak English, Rasputin?” “(Russian)’- Rasputin "He says that he sounds better speaking Russian than English" "It does sound pretty dope" "(Russian)"- Rasputin "He also said he can tell you what happened with the exos" -Ana "REALLY?"-you "(Russian)"- Rasputin "But first, he wants to celebrate your defeat of Xol." *Ra-Ra-Rasputin plays* *cayde appears out of hiding* "Now This is my jam!"-Cayde "How did you get in here?" -zavala "You think you're the only one who can be in places the aren't supposed to be?"-cayde
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Tell that to Kanjiklub.
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Well considering I'm no fan to Rasputin... I personally would not recommend pissing off the warmind. With that said though? Rasputin? Do us all a favor and dismantle yourself for the most part. New golden age is pretty straight forward: No one trusts you as an overlord with weapons.
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What is this before my eyes.... the disciples of edge transit cant condone this... The disciples of oris might though.... [spoiler]all hail edge transit [/spoiler]
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Congratulations. You actually managed to be more cringy than failsafe.
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Please stop. You are cringe af..
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Edited by OriginalMrDave: 11/6/2018 10:26:42 AMWould’ve been better if Zavala survived just to say “Whether we wanted it or not we’ve stepped into a war with the warmind on mars, so let’s get to taking out his Warsats one by one”
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He should’ve fired those lasers from the Smash Bros direct
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I always thought the last city was somewhere in Russia in D1 but only Amanda has an accent that sounds like she's from...Texas?
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*reads first few lines* *scrolls down* *keeps scrolling* ... .. .
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Or we just vaporize Zavala and call it a day.
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[i][b]DANGEROUSLY ANGRY RUSSIAN[/b][/i]
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Reminds me of my first reaction to seeing Osiris without his mask/helmet, all the hype about the character suggested he was a wise old man, so Bungie did the obvious thing and made him an ‘old man’. I think Bungie sometimes forgets that Guardians are immortal, just because a character has been around for a long time doesn’t necessarily mean they have to look like an old person. The Rasputin thing, initially it was just a cool name, albeit a Russian one, but Bungie seems to really running with the ‘Russian’ thing, logically speaking, there is no ‘logical’ Reason why an A.I. created and based on Mars would communicate only in Russian. Sadly, this seems to illustrate that Bungie’s writers seem to lack imagination
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Edited by Gahzirra: 11/6/2018 7:42:29 PMHuh, I always thought that Rasputin was going to interface with Ana Bray using her Robotic eye implants as a conduit directly to her brain and nervous system thereby fully possessing her being, but that probably would have been a bit dark for a T rated game.
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Still a better love story than twilight
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Shoves Zavala into the core. Pussy.
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Lol nice.
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A joke is usually quick and simple, repetitive or long and builds up to something. Your attempt at comedic criticism is by far the worst thing I’ve read/heard all day, and I just got called racist by someone pretending to be Spanish. It equates to nothing, you achieved nothing, you made yourself look dumb, and your writing is atrociously boring. Good attempt though, c+
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Ana’s “we got this” should have gone something like this. Camera pans to Ana’s determined looking face, except it’s not her face at all. It’s Luke Smiths. “We got their money!” Haaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa
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Stop making these please
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Tess everess survives