Dear Bungie friends,
Me Titan am sad, winter here and Titan IS COLD! Me want big blanket like big mouth hunter man or warm coat like magic nerd. Titan have many towels but they are all small and only keep Titan butt warm. Me Titan write letter to Santa for years but me think Santa ghost not find him yet so Titan am sad.
One day Titan get HYPE when he climb up big rock home of the liar man with best boomstick ever and Titan see Saladman with big blanket! But no, Saladman is old and mean to Titan, he say, "git gud," and "Titan can go stand in sunspot if cold," but sunspot only warm for small time so me Titan am sad again.
I guess big mouth funny hunter man in tower heard Titan was sad one day because he tell Titan he know secret about where Titan can get big blanket, he give Titan secret spy decoder ring and secret message to unlock but then Titan find out secret is just crappy ovaltine commercial, so me Titan am sad again.
Me Titan not just want blanket for free even, can do many things for friends like make strong bubbles or punch big scary things like shanks. Titan can even do quest for blanket, even if death reset titan progress like quest for stupid poison gun where Titan had nothing but blue boomstick to complete quest. Titan is strong with big head and can complete many quest for blanket.
Titan sees Deej, bungie friend of magic nerd, and Cozmo, bungie friend of big mouth hunter man, but where is bungie friend of Titan? Is none. So please bungie friend, give Titan big blanket because Titan am sad and cosmodrome is cold place for Titan now.
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Bamp.