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Destiny 2

Discuss all things Destiny 2.
Edited by Oddish43: 6/8/2019 9:38:40 PM
2

Ch. 4 - A Fabulous Feast

A FABULOUS FEAST Chapter 4 of a Comic Fanfiction Series by Oddish This story continiues the story initiated in "Gray Goo": If you have not read it, here's a link: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/218285634?sort=0&page=0 In the cell, a small flap opens and a flat square box is shoved inside. The older Guardians eye it suspisiously, but Ty investigates it. The box contains several triangular objects: something resembling a bread crust on one edge, but covered with yellow-white gunk and dark red disks everywhere else. TY: "What is this?" MAGS: "Leave it alone. It may be explosive. The Cabal do like their bombs." TY: "It looks like it might be... food. Ghost?" (he deploys his Ghost) TY'S GHOST: "Detecting carbohydrate, lipid, amino acid... no explosives or lethal toxins present... but I'm detecting processed animal protein, saturated fat, and worrisome quantities of sodium and cholesterol." TY (third-grade education, didn't get much of that): "But is it food?" GHOST: "Well... I suppose it's technically edible, after a fashion. The Cabal are rumored to have a database of unhealthy comestibles that humans used to endanger themselves prior to the Golden Age. This might be an item from that assortment." TY: "So... you're saying it's food." Ty's Ghost turns his electronic eye toward the other two Guardians. KIARA: "Don't look at us, little light. You resurrected him; he's your problem." GHOST: "Don't remind me." (electronic sigh) "Yes, Ty. It's food." Ty tentatively takes a bite, and while he has no idea what an orgasm is, much less the culinary phenomenon that is sometimes called a foodgasm, he promptly experiences an enormous one. Foodgasm, that is; since this is a T-rated fanfiction. TY: "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!" He gobbles up the slice of unidentified food in three bites. He them grabs another and begins wolfing it as well. KIARA: "What the hell is his problem?" MAGS: "I don't know, but if you want to eat, you'd better get that last piece." TY: "NO!! Mine! All mine!" KIARA: "You wish, you pathetic little wanker." She snatches the third portion of food and takes a bite, keeping Ty at a distance by shoving a bright purple foot in his face. KIARA: "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" TY: "Mmmmmmmmph!" Kiara shoves the remaining food in her mouth and quickly devours it. Ty, seeing the delicacy vanish, sits and sulks like a kid in a time-out chair. Outside, the Cabal guards are rolling on the floor with laughter (and when 800-pound space amphibians are rolling on the floor, it's best to keep your distance). GUARD #3: "That was AWESOME!!" GUARD #2: "Yeah, really! Who knew pepperoni pizza could be so funny? What else do we have that they can eat?" GUARD #1: "I have an idea!" (runs off toward the galley) Inside the cell, a flap opens and a cardboard bucket of golden-brown things is passed in. Ty picks it up and reads the writing on it, which is in both Cabalese and Standard. TY: "KFC Original Recipe? What's KFC short for?" (he tries a piece of it) "MMMMMMMM!! MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" MAGS: "Sweet traveler, not this again. Kiara, you're not actually going to..." Too late. Kiara has a drumstick in each hand and grease dripping down her chin, and her luminescent blue eyes are pretty much rolling back in her head. GUARD #2: "Awesome! This is too funny!" GUARD #1: "We need something for the Exo guy, though." GUARD #3: "They drink their food, though. We need something liquid." GUARD #1: "I know! I know!" The hatch opens again and in go three cups, one of them in a tube, obviously intended to be introduced into an Exo's food tank. KIARA (reads the cups): "McDonald's... chocolate shake? I think I've heard of chocolate, but what's a shake?" MAGS: "Guess we might as well find out." (he hooks the thing up and begins injecting it) "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!" TY (takes a drink): "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" KIARA (tastes chocolate for the first time in her life): "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!" [b]1601 hours, April 17. Still on board the battlecruiser[/b]. The captain of the ship, Valus Qual'arch, enters the prison chamber. He sees the guards gathered around the monitor and still quietly giggling. QUAL'ARCH: "What is the status of the prisoners?" GUARD #2: "Uhhh... alive, sir. And in very good spirits, considering they're facing certain and horrible death." GUARD #3: "We've been giving them Terran food, sir, and they're going nuts about it." QUAL'ARCH: "That's not surprising. At the start of what the humans call the 'Golden Age', they made many major changes in their society. One was that they no longer ate unhealthy things like refined sugars and saturated fats. Another was they they no longer consumed animal flesh of any sort, and only a bare minimum of animal products. The Terran foods we consume, to maintain our lovely 800-pound frames, consist of their very worst dietary choices from the days before the Golden Age began. And, as is usually the case, the worst foods were also the tastiest." GUARD #1: "I guess that explains a lot." QUAL'ARCH: "Get me a line to High Command. I was going to turn the Guardians over to the science ministry, but I think we can use them... much more effectively." Don't miss Ch. 4-1/2 - A Nefarious Negotiator: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/252387270

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