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10/3/2016 7:41:27 PM
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Exotic Armor Review -Astrocyte Verse- Why, Bungie?

Heya, Guardians, Sin, here (formerly, Evilman) and I'm back again with my Exotic reviews. It's been a while since I've done one of these, so pardon my dust. Space: it's unimaginably vast, and holds wonders yet to have been seen by the human eye. Have you ever wondered what our galaxy might actually look like, if viewed from afar? Well, apparently the Warlocks know -and they decided to paint the picture on the front of a helmet, and use their super awesome space magic to animate it with frigging lightning -because everything looks awesome with lightning. Meet the Astrocyte Verse, the new(ish) Warlock helmet, released with the Rise of Iron expansion. Now, Warlocks have had a long-standing habit of putting the craziest shit over their heads. You've got a skull, a bird, another skull, a scuba helmet, another -blam!-ing skull, a blacked-out version of an old legendary helmet, and now a miniature galaxy shoved into a fish bowl. Seriously, though, this helmet looks pretty frigging awesome. You literally turn your head into the very material that makes up THOUGHT. I didn't even know thoughts were even MADE from anything... besides, well, thought. Unfortunately, the other trait that this exotic shares with other Warlock exotics is the black-and-white scale of usefulness: either their exotics are great, or they suck harder than Monica Lewinsky (heyo). Sadly, this one kinda falls onto the latter end of this spectrum. The exotic perk increases your Recovery Stat for a couple of seconds, upon Blinking. How much, you ask? Not enough, and doesn't matter anyways. Everybody knows, by now, that any exotic that increases stats in this game does so at a rather pitiful (if even noticeable) amount. Astrocyte is no different. Shoutout to Planet Destiny for doing some pretty extensive research on the item. As a whole, your health regen might be about half a second faster. I dunno about you guys, but I don't really have too many moments where a half-second of regeneration saved my ass, in a fight. Now, here's the kicker: most veterans who saw the original data-mine for this exotic were stoked about its ORIGINAL exotic perk: increased Blink travel distance, and reduced cooldown on Blink. But, in traditional Bunghole fashion, the "good" Warlock exotics were all nerfed to oblivion shortly before release. Exotics such as Purifier Robes and Nothing Manacles, which had AMAZING perks, were switched under the premise of a bunch of prepubescent children screaming "Y U GIVE WARLOCKS SUCH OVERPOWERED EXOTICS. THIS IS TOO MUCH A HURR-DURR." And so the powers-that-be looked at their "stats" for the game, and deemed these Exotics to be too powerful. So now, Purifier, Ram, and Astrocyte, which all could have been phenomenal Exotics, only exist for collection purposes alongside several other Warlock Exotics.... or shards everyone loves shards. Put simply, Astrocyte is another one of those Exotics that COULD HAVE been good, but wasnt. The last-minute change to the perk took what could have been a good Warlock Exotic, and made it into.... well, a cosmetic item. Unless you have no other exotic armor piece to use on your space mage, or you just wanna wear a helmet that looks like someone let their daughter dump a bunch of glitter all over it, Astrocyte Verse is probably just gonna turn into a shard the moment that you get it. Hope you guys enjoyed the review. Give me your thoughts on the Exotic, and, if you would like to submit a request for me to review another Exotic, please leave it in the comments below. Sin out.

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  • Yeah all the people that complained about the warlock perks of being too strong don't complain about their hunters and Titans being able to shoot arrows and throw hammers all the way across the map that's BS especially when a warlock has to chase people down first total BS

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