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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by Dbread: 12/1/2015 2:45:45 AM
24

Pegboi Deej's Revenge: An Offtopic Story (Part 2)

It had been 2 weeks since the party. The guests were stuffed into Deej's prison, awaiting their judgement. The group was in bad shape. Recon and Purse had been thrown into the cell with the rest. Britton and XDC were still bickering about Trump after 2 weeks of nonstop debating. Engra and Nubbin were shuddering from horse porn withdrawals. Navy Seal and Dolphinizer were writing stories on the wall with their own feces. STD Carrier Flood had already died of repeated DPJ treatments. Things were bad. Morale was low. The Flood were close to giving in to Deej. Then, things changed. On the thirteenth day after the party, Recon heard a noise from outside the cell. He stood up to investigate. After a few seconds, a face popped up at the door's window. It was Longface, wearing a guards uniform. Cries of surprise rose from inside the cell, as everybody sprinted to the door to greet Longface. He motioned for them to be silent. Longface then created a perfect Poll Penis and unlocked the door with it. "Longface! We thought you left Offtopic long ago!" exclaimed Britton. "I never left, not willingly anyways. I figured out what Deej was planning all of those years ago. When I went to warn Offtopic, he captured me before I could and used my account to say I was leaving. Tears were shed, but nobody thought twice about it. When Deej brought me here, he put me through the same tortures you have experienced. I was about to give in to his demands on the next torture treatment. On my way to the torture chamber, something miraculous happened. A group of lesser Offtopic dwellers that had been "banned" broke out of their cells and freed me. They are all dead now, but they did their job. I hid and blended in with the guards until now. Now is the time we fight back." "Why do we have to fight? Let's just get out of here unnoticed." said Purse. Murmurs of agreement came from the rest of the Flood. "We can't just leave. Deej has cast a spell over his mansion; you can't leave without his permission. We have to fight and end the Pegboi if we want to escape." Longface explained. "But how are we going to kill him? He has an army. We won't be able to get anywhere near him" said Recon "Legend has it that in the highest security part of the prison, Deej holds a powerful being. By releasing him, we can defeat his army and kill Deej. We must unleash... [i]Achronos[/i]." A hush spread over the group at this statement. It was a bold plan, but it could be done. It isn't like they had any other option. "What about everyone else?" asked XDC. Everyone looked over to the other cells. Mitochondronizer was seen rocking back and forth, repeating "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell...", Cellar Door was laying on a cot, a haunted look in his eyes, and Lightning Phoenix was having "fun time" with Uncle Moe. Princess Anomaly was screaming about how oppressed females were. Thousands upon thousands of Lenny's were lying around in the cells. "We can take them too. Except Anomaly. We need all the help we can get." Once the others were freed, they moved towards Achronos' cell. They were within sight of the cell, but dozens of guards were between them and Achronos. Longface devised a plan. "Alright, you wait here. Recon and I will sneak up to his cell and release him. Once he is free, he should be able to take out the guards. Recon, are you ready for thi-" "THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL" screamed Mitochondronizer. Instantly, all of the guards were pointing guns in their direction, and opened fire. Britton flanked the guards unnoticed and threw open the cell. A dark presence filled the room as Achronos moved lightning quick throughout the room, destroying the guards. But he wasn't fast enough. When the bullet storm had stopped, the Flood huddled around a body. It was Purse. He had been shot twice in the stomach and five times in the legs. He was quickly losing life. "I... I... I still think religion is bullshit." he croaked. Then, he died. The Flood grieved his loss. Dolphinizer and Lightning Phoenix were in tears, Recon was stunned, and NoiselessPurse2 was- wait what!? "Alts are a great thing." said Purse. The Flood gathered around him and rejoiced. "Now, the real work begins." said Recon. Everybody looked at Achronos. His eyes were pure black, like black marbles. He radiated power. The Flood was in awe. [i]"So you seek to destroy Deej, but you need my help. I see. I will not pretend to like Pegboi, but he is more powerful than even I. I am afraid we cannot defeat him. It is futile to try. Better to stay here and not attempt it at all than to be defeated and reap the punishments."[/i] boomed Achronos to the Flood's dismay. But Longface stepped forward. "I don't need you to defeat Deej. I have a plan for that. All I need you to do is destroy his army." [i]"I will do better than destroy his army. I know not of this plan of yours, but you have my support in it."[/i] Longface smiled. Everything was in place. Soon, Deej would be defeated, and he would be free after so long. END OF PART 2 PART 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176850164/0/0 PART 3: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/177017591/0/0

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