Alright, so today, I was caught off guard a bit with my neighbor coming over, because my girlfriend decided to write "I love cock" on my forearm with some permanent shit (and also drew a heart on my ass) while I was sleeping. He comes over, knocks on my door, the usual. I open the door and he... I was just unprepared Me: W-... what are you wearing?......... (he was wearing a suit and tie) Kiddo: *gets on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: You.... little -blam!-er... This kid is stupider than I ever imagined. Back in school with this kid just before I left, there was this doucher who would -blam!- with everyone, especially me. I go into school with a suit and like a -blam!-ing ringpop. I go up to the doucher and get on one knee and ask if he'll marry me. His reaction was -blam!-ing golden. Just absolute silence. Dumbstruck and mouth agape just not sure what to say, he just walks away and didn't -blam!- with me or anyone who was close to me. I'm fairly sure he was so heterosexual and uncomfortable with it, I may have scarred him, but y'know. Shit happens. And then this kiddo -blam!-ing hears about it and tries to use it against me! Me: You... little -blam!-er... Kiddo: *grinning intensifies* Me: OF COURSE! Kiddo: *smile slowly goes away* Me: *shows forearm* Are you coming inside. Kiddo: *stands up* You know what, -blam!- you. Me: I bet you'd like to. Kiddo: *walks away* Later, I went to go take my dog out, and immediately when I get outside, a football hits me in the head... Me: WHERE THE -blam!- ARE YOU GETTING THESE!? Kiddo: *throws another football* Me: *runs inside* Kiddo: -blam!-ING PUSSY! Me: *runs outside* FORE! Kiddo: *gets hit in the chest* WHERE THE -blam!- ARE YOU GETTING THOSE!? Me: I DON'T KNOW! *throws down golf club* Kiddo: *walks away* Me: *walks back into house* But seriously, where the -blam!- does he get those? Part 4: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/156007370 Part 6: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/157461095