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12/29/2014 3:21:37 AM
29
Dark Humor
I want to know your worst Dark Humor jokes
FIRE AWAY
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2 Replies[b] [/b]
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Cats are like friends, if you cut them open they die!
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1 ReplyWhat's the difference between a gun and a baby [spoiler]a gun is loud when you shoot it[/spoiler]
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What's so good about 28 year olds? [spoiler]There's 20 of them.[/spoiler] Say it outloud
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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? [spoiler]I don't wear cleats when I jump on a trampoline[/spoiler] What's the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? [spoiler]one is fun to hit and smash with a sledgehammer the other is just a water melon.[/spoiler] What sound does a dead baby make when I throw it in the microwave? [spoiler]I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.[/spoiler] After I banged her, my girlfriend called me a Pedophile [spoiler]that's a big word for an 8 year-old[/spoiler] What's the difference between 6,000,000 jews and 6,000,000 pennies? [spoiler]I would give a shit if I lost 6,000,000 pennies[/spoiler] I was able to rąpe a girl today without her fighting back [spoiler]she was blind, deaf, and lame[/spoiler] What's the difference between a pile of money and a pile of dead babies? [spoiler]I don't shit and piss on a pile of money[/spoiler] [i]^_^[/i] [b]no ban bruh[/b] [u];)[/u]
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3 Replies
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3 RepliesEdited by Acidity: 12/29/2014 5:58:45 AMHow do you know when your sisters on her period?[spoiler]you can taste the blood on your dads penis[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesMr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "I have good news and I have bad news. First the bad news: Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine." "Oh my God" says Mr. Jones. "Will she ever recover?" "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her. Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia." Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid bedsores." Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to withe off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand, pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder, and says "I also have some good news" "What could possibly be good about this!" Wails Mr. Jones Dr. Smith: "I'm just -blam!-ing with you, she's dead."
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I'm bringing this thread back to life. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? [spoiler]nothing you just told her twice[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyHow do you stop a baby from choking? [spoiler]take your dick out of its mouth[/spoiler] Im sorry
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What a difference from a dog and your sister. The dog is the one who refuses to submit when I tell her too.
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No hate Why is there no Jews on Jupiter [spoiler]because it's made of gas[/spoiler]
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Why did Sally fall off the swing? [spoiler]she got hit by a car[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesNot hating but What's the difference between Santa clause and a Jew [spoiler]santa goes down the chimney[/spoiler]
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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? [spoiler]I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.[/spoiler]
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I like my Jews like I like my cake, in the oven
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Camaro? [spoiler]I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a Camaro[/spoiler]
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What's the difference between a fridge and my son? [spoiler]my fridge doesn't fart when I pull my meat out[/spoiler]
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Edited by THA rofltard: 12/29/2014 7:29:12 AMJoss Whedon can't control his herd of sheep [spoiler]because he killed the shepherd[/spoiler] [spoiler]firefly jokes[/spoiler]
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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them. How do you get ten babies into a bowl? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips. What do you call a thousand -blam!- in the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
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1 ReplyHow to make a dead baby float step 1: 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream in a large glass step 2: add root beer step 3: add 2 scoops of dead baby
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10 RepliesWhere was the first rice crispy made?[spoiler]hiroshima[/spoiler]
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What's red and runs down a woman's leg?[spoiler]homesick abortion[/spoiler]
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What's better than one dead baby? Ten dead baby's. Why's walking in a field bad? Too many dead baby's.
