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Edited by edableshoe:
7/24/2013 8:57:20 PM
19
What is the point of dating?
What is the intention, point, or expected result of dating to you, personally?
I was reading today a posts by another user today, and I quote;
[quote]Dating is supposed to lead to marriage. If you're not serious about marrying anybody, then just tell them you want to be friends or just tell them you're only interested in sleeping around. If you're up front about it, then no one can be hurt.[/quote]
To me, this is invariably misguided. Dating shouldn't, de facto, lead to marriage. In fact, it shouldn't have that as the original intention. Dating, in my opinion, is about the experiences and learning from them.
Dating is a means of learning more about yourself. You find what you like, and what you don't like. You learn what kind of person you are, and how you unfold yourself for those you care for, and possibly love.
If you imagine that dating is uncontestedly to lead to marriage, then how could you ever know that you are dating the correct one? If the end result is marriage, then how could you ever be expected to leave the relationship, and to try anew with a partner that might be more appropriate for you?
Never enter a relationship with the explicit intent of getting married, unless the relationship has already been cultivated by a previous amount of time spent together. (I would say years, but it differs from couple to couple. It could be years for some, and only months for others. Who's to really say.)
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confusing right?
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Dating's intention isn't marriage. It's sex. No one goes on a date thing "I'm gonna put a ring on her finger" they go thinking "I'm gonna put my thing in her ring"
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Dating, the way people are doing it now-a-days is like they're trying to figure out what kind of person they want to be married to. Well, when you try out multiple women (as though you were married to them), you're going to get a lot of hurt women after you discard them like a used rag and you're only going to hurt your chances of desiring to be with one woman only. You're also going to alienate yourself to women as you begin to see them not as people, but as things. As you get older, you'll never marry and end up a very sad, lonely individual. Either that, or you'll get married to a woman you think is the woman you want to marry, but then another, prettier fun woman comes along and you're like, oh shoot I should've waited, now I got kids with this lady... What do I do- well then you decide to cheat on her and she finds out and then you're in the doghouse in divorce court and you've lost everything. And that, my friend, is why you should really only date for marriage or a serious relationship, because the grass will always be greener, but then it just turns out to be crab grass. There is a way to date which is more respectable and neither person gets hurt. Going out for drinks or food or movies & keeping your pants on. This, I think of as more of a friendship though.
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2 RepliesSo then how to do you marry somebody? Dating is to get to know a person and set if the two of you are compatible. What, you expect to just see somebody random and propose to them?
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I think people who think every relationship may lead to marriage are a bit weird and are fairly intense to date. I also think that that way of thinking is just setting you up for disappointment. Dating, IMO, is all about seeing whether you are compatible enough with someone to take the relationship further whilst having a bit of fun at the same time. Taking the relationship further may just mean becoming exclusive, moving in together or that you end up getting married. It doesn't necessarily have to lead to anything though.
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It is totally ok to have doubts. Just make sure you make your girlfriend or boyfriend fully aware that the relationship may not lead anywhere. Or let them know your future plans. Do you even see them in your future plans? Sometimes it takes time away from someone to realize how much or how little you actually need them. That was how it was for my husband and myself. I went away for the summer before I was going to move off to college and after a couple of weeks of being away from each other, he said he couldn't imagine his life without me. That was when I knew that was it- he needed me as much as I needed him- and we've been together ever since.
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4 RepliesI agree with the dude you quoted. Dating is about having a long time relationship that leads to marriage.
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4 RepliesI think the idea is, if you know now that you intend to end the relationship at some point in the future, you might as well end it now and spend that time experiencing new relationships. Potentially finding a person you would like to spend the rest of your life with. Otherwise you're just stringing the other person along.
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It's an alternative institution of prostitution in which you don't always get what you pay for.
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Ritual to establish if your genetics are worthwhile while your potential mate's social packs can deem you fit for inclusion for better chances at survival.
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2 RepliesI haven't been in a dedicated relationship. Because I know that it won't last forever, which is the most pessimistic thing ever! You know, you like a girl but you keep doubting a shitload of things. Know what I'm getting at here?
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2 RepliesDating is how you grow subconsciously. Your Anima/Animus picks suitable partners and between interactions with them, builds attributes you do not receive through your gender's puberty experience. More or less it is two people learning each others craft. Men become more caring and nurturing, while women become more fearless and independent. The only time dating truly needs to lead to anything more is if the couple decides to procreate, in which case it is beneficial to the child's psychology that both parents are present for their childhood.
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Edited by Barney Stinson: 7/24/2013 9:10:39 PMDating is a learning experience for both yourself and others. You learn how to deal with a significant other and what you want out of a relationship. It's test-driving a bunch of cars before you decided which one to buy.
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to not be autistic
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Are you saying instead of dating someone you should marry them right away?[spoiler]thanks for nothing[/spoiler]
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4 RepliesIt's a bit of craic.
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4 RepliesWell, your body eventually gives up and stops working, so the systems shut down and your body begins to decay. I guess the point of dying is to redistribute nutrients into the environment. I'm no scientist, but doesn't putting people in a coffin or cremation prevent this?
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shameless bump
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