On this day not a single muscle was spared in my dominate hand. The smell of lotion and tears could be detected for miles. Eventually another being picked up on this scent and followed it to me. She offered to me a jar of peanut butter. And I knew then, it was time to dance. And after several hours of convulsing my body she accepted the mating ritual, and we proceeded to fill out the pre-coitus paperwork. Which was met with a satisfactory grade a week later, but by then I had grown hungry and devoured my perspective mate whole. And that boys and girls, is why it is called Valentine's Day. - Troy The Unggoy