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Edited by irishfreak:
12/17/2015 10:32:04 PM
699
Girlfriend wants to "take a break"
So I've dated this girl for 4 years. We survived a long distance relationship in college seeing eachother once every two months during the semesters. We are both 23 years old.
So I try to talk about the future. For example:marriage, children, and our careers. She freaks out and says she doesn't know anything.
So this goes on. I bring it up every couple of weeks or she won't think about it. Finally last night we sit down and talk about it. She still doesn't really know what she wants though.
After 4 years I'm thinking she owes me this much at least so we can either move on from here. So she says she wants a break for a week or two. I reluctantly accept.
So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Don't know what to do and I'm pretty sad.
Advice is appreciated
Edit: so majority say she's banging another dude. If that is the case I have no problem breaking it off and making her feel like shit about it. But I won't know for a couple of weeks until I pop that question. Secondly regarding this, there does require trust while this is happening which I have so I want to believe in her. And as far as I know we were virgins when we stated dating and I was given no reason to believe she has cheated on me thus far.
Next most common is that she's prepping the break up. Here I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. And I'm definitely not gonna cheat on her ever unless we are officially over.
It's all making me anxious but I have to wait a couple weeks to find out. Appreciate all the responses, whether genuine or jokey
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2 RepliesWhat happened in the end?
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She wants to bang another guy and not feel guilty.
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reallifedestiny? What is that tag?
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71 RepliesWow, a woman cannot decide to spend some time away without you assuming she's cheating? Get a life.
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If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. ~Anonymous
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Don't get married, don't have kids. Thank me by enjoying your life.
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Move on bruh with ur dignity
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Give her space and let her come to you. If she realizes it was meant to be then she will come back. If it doesn't go you're way then move on that's all you can do. You can't force a woman to do anything.
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[spoiler](つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ━☆・*。 [b][i][u]SWIGGITY SWIRGIN LEAVE THIS PLACE VIRGIN[/u][/i][/b][/spoiler]
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This just happened to my friends who were dating for 3 years and struggling with long distance (they're still on a break FYI), here's what could be happening: You guys have been together for 4 years since 18 or so, you probably didn't get to explore relationships much more previous to each others and never really tried single life as an adult. She's probably curious and wants to know for sure if she'd be happy with you for the rest of her life, since that's where its going. She can't tell because well, she's doesn't know if she'd be happy without you since she never really has been. She doesn't want to feel like she's missing out on something, an experience or life, whatever as she's still so young. She's scared because she doesn't want to say yes and hurt you or make the wrong choice and doesn't want to say no as she may realise too late she made a mistake. Stick with the break, it's a good idea. She'll realise what she wants, just be sure it's what you want. Don't hold on if she let's go, never worth the pain. Hope it all works out.
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Pm me her pics
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1 ReplyFrom the sounds of it, you probably stressed her out. She might be taking time apart to figure out exactly what she wants without you pressuring her.
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If she wants to "take a break" it's already over for her. Best start preparing yourself for the inevitable breakup.
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Edited by Flying Cougar: 12/20/2015 4:47:43 PMShe wants to -blam!- other guys bro
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4 RepliesSince when does a guy need to kiss a woman's boot so that [i]maybe[/i] she might consider you're worth it? If she isn't as in love and devoted to you as you are to her, and she's pushing you away, WHAT THE fluck are you on your knees for, guy... You should have the same standards for yourself as any woman walking around that's a 10. There's a difference between her needing to think about it and her making you feel like you're expendable. Don't stand for that shit because she sure as hell wouldn't either. Have some dignity. Some self worth. And don't let yourself be treated like an option. Man up, dude. If a girl said we need to take a break for a few weeks to me, I'd say nope, you don't get that option. You wanna walk out the door after 4 years? Here let me hold it open for you, good luck and peace. 👋
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7 RepliesEdited by Forever277: 12/18/2015 3:25:03 AMStop being anxious dude, just move on, it's a wrap. Whether she's bangin another dude or not is totally irrelevant, she's already punched out of this relationship (with you) What she's doing instead of just saying it's over, she's keeping you on the hook as a safety boyfriend if she doesn't find anyone better. Seriously, this is straight up older guy knowledge I'm dropping on you, I've been there and that is what's happening here lol Next thing she's going to do is take a super long time to get back to you any time you txt or call her Maybe she cares about you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings Or maybe she wants to make the situation untenable so you get fed up and break it off with her Either way, it's over already Just move on Edit--- Another thing that's going to happen is if/when you guys do get together and hang out, or just smush your bathing-suit areas together, it's always going to be on her terms, your feelings and wants will be irrelevant. If you want to be her side/I'm bored but need my meat wallet caved in piece, by all means, smash that ass lol But i will warn you, do not get attached or put yourself out there anymore, and go be single and mingle and hopefully get some strange in the meantime.
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Get a dog. There no drama with dogs
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After being together for 4 years you don't need a break to figure out what you want. She can figure that out with you or without you. My wife (girlfriend at the time) wanted a break about 1.5 years into our relationship. I tried giving her time then found out she was talking to her POS ex. So I stopped by her place that night and told her figure it out now. Either we work through this together like a strong couple or I'm gone. We've now been together 7.5 years and married for 2.5 years of it. Yeah, it hurts to think you could be alone. But, it's even worse to be put on a side burner. Wanting to be with a truly special person doesn't take a long thought process. It's either make it work or snap it off. At least, in my opinion and life.
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Breakup with her and go bang either her sister or best friend
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To be honest it seems like you were being a little bit pushy. She's a person too. You may be ready for all of these commitments, but she isn't. I'd say this relationship has run It's course. You're both still very young, so go adventure some more until you find a girl who is ready for the same commitments as you.
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1 ReplyI've been in this exact situation. The important thing to remember is that the right people will [i]find a way to keep you in their life[/i] and those that want distance, no matter how perfect you think they are, are bad for you. That took me 5 years to truly understand. I'd personally cut her off completely for a while. If absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it wasn't meant to be anyways. The future doesn't need to happen right now. Frequently we fall deeper in love with our [i]ideas[/i] of people than the person themselves. If you're wrapped up in visions of the future, that may be the case. You'll eventually find you're happier with the one who keeps it simple, comfortable and compatible rather than you one you thought was perfect in every way. One sided relationships are never happy ones.
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Edited by SeAWeEd1998: 12/19/2015 2:08:06 AMThat's code for "I wanna break up with you for someone better but I'm too cruel to say it out flat" But in all seriousness here u can't make someone rush to the next step because u feel ready that's not how things work ik ur 23 and u dont need someone patronizing u but if she doesn't feel ready its not a good idea to give her a nudge she probably needs time to think things through
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Edited by JHarv: 12/19/2015 8:16:19 PMusually when a girl wants space, she's just not into you. No girl who is crazy about you, no person who is crazy about another person, rationally thinks to themselves "I love the person so much that I need time away". No. They want a break because they're just not that into it and they're afraid to let go. It's a way for her to try to move on. Time to let her go. Avoiding real talk and asking for space is not a solution in any relationship.
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I know you are hurting and all but bro you need to get out there and enjoy your new life. You are way to young to be tied to someone that you met so young. This will be the best thing that ever happened to you. It may take time but you will agree it's me a few months down the road. Good luck bro
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Get out there and get on with your own life. Do your own thing, work, hobbies etc. Just go and put her out of your mind till you see her.
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Only time I've ever wanted a break at that age ( give or take 3 years) is when another girl would be willing to jump my bone if I were single.... Break entered, bang/get to know new girl, make decision on either A) completely leave old girl and continue with new... Or B) stop banging new girl, go back into relationship having enjoyed my hall pass.
