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Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by Dbread: 12/1/2015 2:47:05 AM
37

Pegboi's Deej's Revenge: An Offtopic Based Story (Part 1)

The year is 2020. Deej is preparing to host a party in his fancy mansion after getting a raise to $201.50 per hour 4 years prior. Deej takes a full wine glass made of pure crystal, and shatters the glass after one sip. Deej smiles to himself. Tonight, it wouldn't be just an ordinary party. Tonight was a very special party. Nubbin pulled up to Deej's house in Deej's limousine called [i]"le Pegboi"[/i]. Nubbin checked his watch. He was right on time, the party would start soon. As Nubbin stepped out of the car, he saw familiar faces all around him. XDC and Britton were arguing politics on the stairs. Dolphinizer was rambling on to Navy Seal about gibberish, and Navy Seal was nodding approvingly like what he said made perfect sense. Engra pulled up to the mansion in a horse drawn carriage, except he wasn't in the carriage. He was in the horse. STD Carrier Flood emerged from the carriage, spewing fanfics about Halo characters getting it on. After about 5 minutes, Deej threw open the doors, and proclaimed, "Welcome friends and Flood, to my party!" Deej's butlers settled the guests into their seats, and passed out the menu's courtesy of Deej's lead chef, Brickler. There was only one option on the menu: freshly grown lettuce with a side of salt. Everybody passed on dinner. Deej, in his favorite Pegboi suit, addressed the crowd. "Flood, we are gathered here today to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of the death of Destiny. 4 years ago, you staged a riot against the Destiny forum. When Offtopic [b]flooded[/b] #Destiny, it was the greatest day of my life." Deej laughed heartily at his own joke. "But in all seriousness, thank you all. After I silenced your rebellion, they gave me a pay raise. 2 years later, and I had enough to purchase both Bungie and Activision, and then I shut down Destiny." A great cheer came from the crowd. "As I said, I couldn't have done it without you. As I said, you a rebels. However, some of you rebels were too... rebellious." And then, he showed them a shocking, awful video that chilled their blood. It was Purse/Lincoln/Solaris. He was bruised, bloody, and stripped naked, shackled to the wall. Both Engra and Nubbin felt themselves getting hard. "And of course, don't forget about those pesky ninjas. The Ninja Uprising was a close to being defeated as I have ever been." The image zoomed out to show Recon in the same predicament as Purse. The rest of the guests got boners. "Now, these two are leaders of their rebellions. I felt they were too much of loose cannons, so they are now acting as examples instead." Deej put in earplugs as the camera angle changed. The camera angle was from between Purse and Recon, facing the direction they were facing. They were being forced to watch a TV. Suddenly, a horrific image came up on the TV screen. "WHAT IS UP GOYS, ITS YA BOI DPJ HERE WIT ANODA DESTINY VIDYO." The screech boomed throughout the room. Purse screamed in terror and Recon's eyes started bleeding. All boners dissapeared from the guests. "NOW YOU SEE" screamed Deej over the poorly made content, "THIS IS THE TORTURE I WILL SUBJECT YOU TO IF YOU DO NOT COOPERATE." Brickler turned off the video of Purse and Recon. "Thank you Brickler. Now, that will be you if you do not cooperate. What I want is to be ruler of all forums. To do that, I need your help. To do that, what I need from you... is your servitude." Cries of indignation came from the Flood. "Settle down, settle down. Working for me isn't that bad, really. Right Brickler? RIGHT BRICKLER!?" Brickler nodded meekly, but his eyes told a different story. "Now, what I need you to do is take over other forums like you took over Destiny. We'll start small first, with the Roblox and Minecraft forums. But we'll eventually work our way up to Reddit and 4chan. I will rule the internet!" cried Deej. "I'll work for you when Trump becomes Emperor of the world you fgt!" screamed Britton. "Prepare to work for him soon then, can't stump the Trump!" retorted XDC. They launched into a vicious fistfight. "Gentlemen please, calm down!" said Deej. "Guards, take them all to their cells to cool off a little!" END PT. 1 PART 2: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/176968445/0/0 PART 3: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/177017591/0/0

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