We all miss the Gjallahorn. It's a fact. Perhaps the most universally loved weapons of year one, players hunted ceaselessly for it for months. Nothing(with the possible exception of the pre-nerf Black Hammer) was a more efficient boss killer. However, when Year Two came out, this stellar weapon was nerfed beyond recognition. As it is unlikely that it will be brought back in the near future, I suggest a replacement for it: Uncle Sam.
Uncle Sam looks like a standard rocket launcher of uncommon or rare quality. Except for the weathered red, white and blue paint job. It would have a one rocket magazine, would do arc damage, have tracking, proximity, and a special perk called "General Washington." When fired, it leaves a red white and blue vapor trail, and in addition to the standard roar of the rocket, the screams of eagles and the American national anthem can be heard as it speeds toward its target. However, it will not impact. Not yet. Once it comes close to its victim, it takes a sharp turn upwards, ascends to a high altitude, and a small charge detonates the warhead, splitting it into fifty submunitions, each one a representative of a state in the Union. These will arrange themselves into an American flag, which will then descend and cover the targeted enemy. Then it explodes, destroying the entire map and everyone on it, including any guardians in the area, and making the map unplayable in the future for the player, and awarding a win for whatever activity the player is participating in.
Please petition Bungie to make this a reality!
God Bless America.
Sincerely,
A Warlock and a Gentleman.
Edit: it's a joke, fellows. Don't be so sensitive.
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Im gussing ur muricun? I leik vis idia