First off, I want to say I have nothing against Christians and I believe no one should be ridiculed for their beliefs. However, this is a special case with a remarkably stubborn Catholic man... who I am related to... *Scene* It's Easter at my grandparents place and my family, for the most part, is a Christian family. My cousin Kevin, who is a born-again Christian, is sitting across from me in the living room. *Scene* Kevin: So, Turtle. What have you been up to lately? Me: Not much. Mostly working and hanging out with my friends. Kevin: Mhmm. Does that leave you enough time to read the bible? My Mind: Not this shit again. Me: I don't read the bible anymore. Kevin: I know. I just wanted to remind you of what's wrong with you. *Description of Kevin* He's one of those born-again Christians who believe that everything they say is law, everything in the Bible is described flawlessly, and he must teach the world of his "peaceful ways" by force. Ironic, huh? He'll argue with you for hours on end about the stupidest shit too. I once got in an argument with him about the measurements in the bible. By the way, cubits are bullshit. Me: Would you mind telling me exactly what you mean by that? Kevin: What do you want me to tell you, exactly? Me: Mostly why you're such a hypocrite. Kevin: I'm not a hypocrite. Me: Of course you're not. A hypocrite wouldn't tell people old testament is no longer law and then later use scripture from old testament to "prove" a point of theirs. Kevin: You haven't even read the bible half as much as me. Me: So? I've read it once. That's enough. Kevin: Well, if you're gonna try to pull -blam!-ing rules from the bible, don't act like it. Me: The difference between you reading the bible 20 times a day and me reading it once is that I paid attention. Kevin: Then how can you not follow any religion after reading it. Me: I do. I follow the religion of Dontbeadicktoothersbro. I don't need a 2000 year-old book to teach me to not be a dick to people in different phrasings. Kevin: So you think Christians are idiots? Me: No. I think stubborn people are. Kevin: There's a difference between faithful and stubborn. Me: Yeah, and I don't think you found that difference yet. Why not try reading the bible a few more times. Kevin: Well, I'm not gonna convert. Me: I'm not trying to convert you, I'm trying to get you to leave me alone. I get the whole thing where Christians have to be openly Christian and tell people about God, but I haven't read anything in the bible saying you have to give someone an aneurysm in an attempt to convert them to the faith. Kevin: Do you want me to put my hand across your face? Me: Depends. Do you want a lawsuit? Kevin: I really -blam!-ing hate you. Me: "Love thy neighbor", Kevin. It was at this point Kevin stormed off and I began to talk to my Grandpa about the new Ford GT. This story is in no way me complaining, I just thought this would be fun to share. TL;DR My cousin is an idiot