Necrobump

I need some rhinoceros testosterone

Lol that was awesome.

Really great, no surprise there. All the interviews you do are so great and different. You should be in the community focus. Good read, as always

[quote]Welcome to another Unofficial Weekly Update! While you wait for the real update, here is something for you to slake your thirst on! The star of the Nightfall this week was Valus. You remember him right? Been a while. Anyhow, you know we like to keep things new around here, so after many requests, private messages and responses in the past, I've decided that now is the time to interview the one, the only, Master of Disaster, Randall the Vandal! [b]Randall thanks for dropping by, you've been a big request![/b] Of course I have. How could I NOT be? Look at these pecks! [b]Vandals have pecks?[/b] Not like mine they don't. [b]Alrighty then. So give me the lowdown: how is it that you have all this health, and hit like a truck, yet your level is the same as everyone else on patrol?[/b] Two words Max: Rhinoceros Testosterone. [b]Rhinoceros Testosterone?[/b] Yeah man. I shoot that shit up twice daily, mix in a protein drink and weights and I am good to go. [b]I thought that Ether made you guys stronger...you know, Dregs don't get a lot, so they are small, but Captains, Barons and Kells get a lot of it and are subsequently stronger. And larger.[/b] Chumps use Ether pal. Those Rhinos though. They are tough sumbitches. So I figured I wanted to be that tough, and given that Ether tastes like Thrall shit, this was a great alternative. And most importantly? Totally legal. Man you know how I harvest that? The Rhinos have a nipple on their underside towards the back, and I go out and milk it once a day; it's shocking how easy it is to get! It shouldn't be legal! [b]Dude...Rhino Testosterone comes from males...male rhinos don't have nipples...[/b] Ah what do you know? I do it all the time. Get under there, start milking and after a few minutes, the Testosterone comes out and boom! I have my juice! [b]That's uh...not a nipple. And I'm pretty sure that isn't Testosterone you're harvesting...[/b] Whatever man, I won't argue with ignorance. Or jealousy. [b]Seriously, you flexed and kissed your arms while saying that. Who does that?[/b] This guy bub...this guy right here. I can smack you into next week pal. I won't be like that flaccid sausage Valus; shit I can take more damage than that boob this week, and he was the Nightfall star. How do you explain that huh? [b]All I'm saying is that that's a rhinoceros' um...well...[/b] Who cares what you think it is? Proof in view right here! Rhino Testosterone YEAH! [b]You know what? You're right. You do you, man keep it up.[/b] Oh...oh I get it. You think you know something I don't? [b]Yeah I'm actually pretty positive that I do.[/b] Pretty sure you don't loser. Don't forget, I've killed you once. Boom. Owned. [b]I was a level 3 when that happened.[/b] Winning is winning bruh. Get over it. [b]And when I bumped into you yesterday?[/b] Yeah...about that. I was sore from leg day. I wasn't at my full power man, so that doesn't even count. [b]Uh-huh. So I saw a thread a while back asking if you or Urzok would win in a fight. What's your take?[/b] What did most of the people say? [b]Urzok. Because of his shields.[/b] Okay, I'll fight him without shields. [b]That's not how a challenge works. [/b] Hey man, I'm the talent here right? I mean, I'm Destiny OG basically. So, he fights on my terms or there's no fight at all. [b]Randall, there is no fight. It was just a speculation thing. You know, like a what if?[/b] Oh, well in that case I'd whoop his ass into next Tuesday. [b]You think so? [/b] Positive. He's a joke. I'd own him so hard he wouldn't even know what hit him. Completely destroy his ass is what I'd do. And you can tell him I said that. [b]Well good. It just so happens that Urzok is here with us right now![/b] Whatever man. You're just clownin...oh shit. That's him!? You said there was no challenge! [b]I thought a little exhibition would be nice for the readers. You know...test your might kind of stuff. Put the debate to rest for good![/b] Hey man...I just got back from the gym so I'm really sore, and I just took an injection so it wouldn't be a fair fight. He's fresh and I'm tired and sore. It's not a fair match up right now. Besides, I didn't come prepared to fight. [b]I thought you might say that. Urzok you can go now.[/b] That's right sucker. Get movin. Trying to pit me against a Hive CHUMP? Pshh. If I was fresh man, he'd be sooo dead. HEY! I said move on! No don't come back over here! SORE FROM GYM! NOT A FAIR FIGHT!! [b]No Urzok, put him down![/b] That's right you little bitch...listen to what the human says. You can't handle this! [b]You know what? Fight on Urzok![/b] ... And there you have it, the words of Randall himself! You'll notice the poll at the top of this update. Vote for Randall or Urzok! Who do YOU think would win in a stand up fight? Xur visited the Reef last week bringing with him the questionable Hard Light. Hard Light is famous for a smooth firing rate, good stability and decent sized magazine, but is also maligned by being an auto rifle. Because they are pretty much horrible in general. But hey, this is one of the better AR's...right? Titans were excited to see the ACD/0 Feedback Fence, and hunters rejoiced at Khepri's Sting. Warlocks were left a little salty when they found the Starfire Protocol was what awaited them. Wow. What a week for Destiny. Luke Smith gave a glimmering interview where he defended the price points of the Taken King to Eurogamer at E3. However, the interview sparked outrage in the community, leading many to question what exactly Bungie thinks about Legacy Players, and also their pricing strategies in general. The outrage stemmed from the fact that three new emotes, class items and shaders were locked behind the Collector's Edition of the Taken King. Veteran players would have been required to purchase content that they had already paid for in order to get these items; a topic Luke Smith was less than understanding about. “-BLAM- you Bungie!” one poster said. Another poster said, “This is why design geeks shouldn't do interviews.” In an emergency update, Smith called himself an asshat and apologized for his words, noting that Bungie does in fact care, and listens as well. Apology accepted Luke. Also outlined in the emergency update was an announcement that Bungie would be offering the emotes, shaders and class items as a $20 additional purchase when people chose to pick up The Taken King at the $40 value, bringing the whole package to $60. While many felt this was a fair compromise, many people were still upset that Bungie's answer was to pay them questionable money for meager rewards. “We're sorry, pay us $20 and you can have these emotes, shaders and class items...rubbish!” said one poster. Another poster said “$20? That's what I paid for the previous expansions!” This whole situations reeks of $10.00 Oblivion Horse Armor, but Bungie said in the Emergency Update that there would be more included with the Year One pack to make it all worthwhile. It was also announced that year one players will be receiving a special emblem, sparrow and shader for supporting Destiny. Bungie said that these would be exclusive to year one players, and that they would be unobtainable any other way, allowing you to say that you earned them, and that it was a year one thing, which new players wouldn't understand. The emblem features what appears to be a lynx on the left side with zebra print in the background, the shaders look all black (which is awesome for those of us who DON'T support Dead Orbit) and the Sparrow is also black. “I hope the sparrow isn't a Timebreaker clone,” one player said. Activision also revealed a partnership with Red Bull. If you buy four packs of Red Bull from 7-11, you can get codes that allow a 50% XP boost and opens up a timed Red Bull exclusive Taken King mission. Topics are popping up around the forums with the posters having wacky contests in exchange for Red Bull codes. The community is split on this reveal as well. Dying Light trolled the reveal, by announcing a partnership with water. I will add a personal note to close this out, which is my personal opinion and in no way meant to speak for everyone. I personally appreciate Luke Smith's apology because everyone can be an asshat sometimes, and I sincerely doubt that his remarks were malicious of intent, no matter how callous they actually were. It was big of him to actually submit a entire heartfelt apology, instead of Deej saying Luke said he was sorry. That's a big thing for him to do. However, I personally feel that I cannot make a decision about the Taken King expansion until I know more about what is included with it. All we have seen are new crucible modes, subclasses and the existence of a new raid. We still don't know how many missions and strikes there will be, we don't know the level caps, and we are completely blank on new weaponry save for a few screenshots. The value seems questionable now, but that is only because we don't know a lot about it yet; we are still in the very early stages of reveal. I am angry about some of these things too believe me, but I also love Destiny enough to wait and see what else in in the works. That all being said, I do believe that Bungie needs to show us something AMAZING for The Taken King in order to justify the price tag that they've attached to it. The value could be there, but we just have to wait and see; we are still early in the game yet... Whew. That was a lot to process, so we will bring this update to a close for this week. Thanks as always for reading, friends, and remember to keep those Strange Coins handy for Xur and those guns piping hot! I'll see you in the wild![/quote]