Edit 3: 114 Replies O__O What happens when the tower has no players. What do the vendors do??? Here's what I think. The cryptarch sells exotic engrams for 1 glimmer. The pigeons form an alliance with rahool to steal engrams. Master Rahool and Xur have a meeting discussing their Monopoly and reign of the economy. (SPIDRBITE) A vendor opens next to the postmaster, selling tacos. (IstPersnShooter) Eris stops raving about Crota and her time on the Moon and engages in normal conversation. (datguy12345) The Crucible Quartermaster has good jokes. Speaker starts rehearsing the history of the solar system hoping someone will hear him, only to his dismay he is shy and hates talking with people about anything other than fighting the darkness. (ZxSuperChickenxZ) Xur sells the vex. Petra sneaks the Queen of The Reef into the tower and films lesbian porn with her, broadcasting it on monitors around the tower. (Siksh0rts12) The Speaker's machine room thing becomes a giant rave, complete with Xur DJing. (Siksh0rts12) Lahkshi-2 runs around declaring everything to be heretical and then starts a bonfire behind the IB curtain, sacrificing all the mere peasants in the tower to the ancient greek god Aries. (Siksh0rts12) Arm wrestling in the Vanguard meeting room. (Manly Chicken) The gunsmith sells 100 heavy ammo synth for free. The quarter masters sell 1,000,000 resources for 1 mark. Amanda Holliday sells raid ships. Dead orbit cheers up. Everyone goes down to the bar and gets trashed. Hookers and blow! (eriktehfatty) The vanguard quartermaster eats a Big Mac. Executor hideo faps to medieval beheading pictures in history books. Ghost gets drunk. The speaker shoots cutscenes. (BEASTninja2001) Lord Saladin sells every iron banner gun at rank Zero for no glimmer. Lord shaxx sells light 42 armour. Cayde-6 gets his memory wiped again and becomes Cayde-7. Ikora Rey stops disintegrating people when they want to look at her ghost. Commander zavala realises he's blue. The bounty tracker only sells exotic bounties. Katy Perry walks around naked. (zI INFINITY Iz) The postmaster has infinite vexes, Gjallas, suroses, ice breakers and every exotic in lost items. Vaults have infinite space. Special orders has stuff worth looking at after 5 minutes. Future war cult thinks about peace talks. For 2 seconds, then carries on being hellbent loons. The purple ball becomes different colours and talks and flies (Kingofdarkness14) The purple ball is the true form of the Traveller. (YellOPhase) Xur realises he's a squid. (kk0ff9) Then a player joins and everything is shitty once more. K thx bai <3 Edit: added some bootiful suggestions.