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4/18/2015 11:07:49 PM
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--Archaeus-- To the Ground Below/ Chapter 8 (Part II)

--Archaeus-- To the Ground Below [i]Chapter 8 -[/i] One Final Effort (Part II) \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ We had reached the core room, and to our surprise, it was not guarded. Not even workers were there. We cautiously but swiftly made our way to the center of the room, making sure it wasn't a trap. We were but ten feet away from the core when the second group of soldiers, about fifteen more humans and six Alphas, came running into the core room, screaming for us to run. Just as I turned to see what they were running from, I saw it. A Juggernaut, hunting down those soldiers. It came running into the core room with missiles firing everywhere, as well as red plasma bolts from its chain gun. The machine was so colossal, that the shaking it caused to the room as it ran actually made some of us lose our balance and fall over. Since the core was a very large, cylindrical object, three Zealots, Jackson and I ran to the other side of it where we would plant this explosive, while the others stayed behind to distract the Juggernaut. Since the Alphas with me didn't have the speaking device, they could not communicate with us, but Jackson and I knew they were coming to make sure we plant the bomb successfully. Jackson tossed me the bomb and I began to activate it, while he turned around to help guard. Once I pulled it out of its case, a missile from the Juggernaut hit directly next to us, spraying a plasma rain all over two of the three Zealots who were guarding. They then dropped to the floor and began to squirm and shriek in agony, while I tossed aside the explosive case. An alarm then sounded throughout the entire ship, and we heard the sound of a Beta speaking on the intercom in its language. I propped the bomb next to the core, wedged it between the core itself and the walking platform, and pressed the activation button. Some alien glyphs then appeared on the interactive touch pad, signaling the count down had been started. We hurriedly stood up and looked around the core to the other side, only to see nearly all of our insertion team was wiped out entirely. Only myself, Jackson, Ceteris, three other marines, and three other Alphas remained. I looked to Ceteris who was crouched behind a box, recovering for a brief moment, while the other Zealots were on the Juggernaut, distracting it. "Ceteris, it's planted! We need to head for the other hanger, now!" I screamed. "We will meet you there! Take your fellow humans and go! We cannot allow this beast to follow us, or we will never make it." I turned to the remaining marines who gathered around me, and we made our way to the exit, hoping that Ceteris would make it, and that there would be no resistance along the way. Even a single Beta could annihilate all five of us with a single arm swipe. Just as we were about to exit the core room, the door opened before we were close to it, and about twenty Beta troops lay there, waiting to charge in. We immediately turned left and ran behind a strut that was supporting a second level above us. "Sergeant, there's a door there! Maybe it will lead to the hanger as well!" shouted Aiden, pointing to another door closer to us. What choice did we have? A Juggernaut was keeping the Alphas distracted, and we didn't have the weaponry to attack these creatures. "Okay, on three, we rush to that door. If we get shot at, turn around and activate yours shields until we're through the door." Once I counted I three, we all made a dash for that door. The Beta troops shot at us fairly quickly, killing one of the marines before he even had the chance to activate his shield. The remainder of us turned and activate our shields as we backed into the door way. The fire power from those things was like nothing I've ever seen. The fire rate for one rifle was about two thousand five hundred rounds per minute, and each shot was equally as deadly as a combined ten shots from a human carbine. Our shields were getting hit so much, that staring out of them looked like you were under foggy, milky water, staring up at the sky. The only thing we knew was what was behind us, and that was the way out. The energy on my shield dropped to 5%, and was about to give out. Once the door finally slid opened, we all quickly poured in, and to our luck, there were no Betas there. Once the door closed, we deactivated our shields and ran for the other hanger. I barely knew where we were going. I memorized the path well while at the GUL Nyr, but with all of the bullet fire and sirens going through my ears, on top of almost dying multiple times, it was difficult to keep a clear head. But once we reached a specific staircase, one that I recognized from from the hologram, I knew we were on the right track. We make a left at that staircase and head straight, making a right down the hallway and into the hanger. Got it. I couldn't believe there were no Betas in the hallways. It was a clean getaway. Many of them were probably at the core room, but the ship was huge. There had to be thousands of Betas inside. The Betas were not very intelligent, despite all of their advanced technologies. The fact that they have no automated turret system, or detection system inside of a Starship is astounding. I guess they didn't expect an attack from the inside. And if that bomb successfully goes off, that will surely be their downfall; the underestimation of their enemy. After about a minute of running, we reached the door to the hanger. We got our shields ready incase enemies were on the other side, waiting for us. Once the door opened, we were all in shock and terror as to what rested in front of us. The Destroyer was there, not doubt, but there was something else there. It was another Juggernaut! We all immediately darted to the left once the Juggernaut spotted us, and we hid behind a solid staircase that led up to the second floor, the beast shooting at us with two chain guns. So many rounds were flying by us, that it was almost like being in the center of a red waterfall, except this water was deadly to the touch. Jackson reached into his utility belt, and pulled out some smoke grenades. "I grabbed these before we left the Destroyer, just for situations like this. Here, you guys take one." Jackson handed us all a single smoke grenade, and we decided to try our hand at out-smarting that thing.

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  • [quote]We cautiously but swiftly made our way...[/quote] Should be written as: [i]We cautiously, but swiftly, made our way...[/i] Because you can write that sentence without that phrase, therefore, it is considered non-essential information and should be enclosed by commas. A couple of typos scattered throughout, I know I was pushing you to get this done and I apologize for that. But just be careful when proofreading. When I finish a chapter, I will proofread it the next day because I was just looking at the same text for how long. So giving your eyes a break from it and proofreading later will allow you to pick up a lot more mistakes than you normally would. Anyway, apart from that, you've written a nice little saga here. Only a few more parts to go!

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    • One more thing, I'm envisioning the core room as the strike on Mars where Varus T'Arac or however spell his name is.

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