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Edited by Fridén:
4/2/2015 1:30:11 PM
290
Funny LFG Requirements
Over the times I have used these sites I have come across some interesting/funny requests.
These are the ones that have stuck with me:
MUST BE AN ACTUALLY GOOD SWORD BEARER
Must be Sober
NO SQUEAKERS
Lvl 31 titan need 4 more, MUST BE LEVEL 32
Have you seen better?
Edit: From others experiences
CrYxTaCo
Balls must have dropped for you to join
touch76
need 6 for crota cp
ExoticVoid
PermalinkYeah.
Looking to do hard mode ir yut I need the exotics. I really need a 'gjallurhorn' must be level 29. He was a level 27.
thedinobot
Best one right here: Must be 30+ for Normal VoG.
Edit 2:
This one takes the cake...
OBX Sand Devil
Level 27 Titan. Need group to carry me through the raid. No squeakers or you will get booted. Playing porn in the background for motivation
Edit 3:
Nothing like redundancy
CeeBagger1000
Level 32 Titan - "full raid gear, maxed out".
Edit 4:
The craziest post so far...
Looking for five gamer girls who are feeling naughty.
Beat You Silly1
Must be 18+ and have a mic.
Lvl doesn't matter as long as you listen to what I say ;)
Will help you get to lvl 32 as long as you reward me on snapchat.
Edit 5, from the posts again!
Dano2467
Sword bearer looking for 5 ledge monkeys
Frank
"no swag fags"
Chinaman Brent
"Need 5 for hard crota cp. Must be 32 & have gally. I don't because I'm fireteam leader and you can't kick me."
Pervythemilkman
Looking for 5 must really have to poop so you'll be less likely to make mistakes
Phuk_yu_ho
"Must have a big d*ck because we are gonna -blam!- the Templar in his ass"
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Need 21 for dank loot cave raid. Must be level 4 with maxed Khvostov. Must also have sweet dance moves.
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Best post I've seen so far
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4 RepliesNeed a few brave souls to down Crota with NLBs only.
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2 RepliesI always reply to raid posts "Lvl 32, Max weps, Big D!ck"
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Can I Join Crota hard Mode I got a NLB[spoiler]MAXXED[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesCrota HM We need a Sword Bearer with Ghorn Me - De-blam!-
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31 Replies"Need 1 Bubble Boy for crota"
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4 RepliesXbox raid finder Must be 32 with hawkmoon
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2 RepliesMust be able to find Waldo, on every page in within 2 minutes. Never seen this requirement. But i feel like i should.
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19 RepliesLooking to get 6th chest on the tower raid. Must be lvl 36 shank Must have relic And must know how to cheese the cryptarch.
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14 RepliesLooking to kill Urzok, the Hated 32+ Maxed Gjallahorn only Age 12+ No kids allowed [spoiler]Legit seen this[/spoiler]
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I saw someone post 310+ for vog. (NTTE)
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my favorite so far evil cooperation looking for new recruits must be experienced in sniping your own team mates pushing people off the edge and have decent maniacal laugh if you do not have a good laugh you will be booted
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310 slinger looking for trials team Must be really bad at trials Unable to move and shoot at the same time I'm good just sarcastic :'-)
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299 titan Looking for 5 titans only Must have chatterwhite Must have the undying mind mark Must have the jade rabit emblem
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1 ReplyRevive this shit
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3 Replies"HOSTING VOG HARD FRESH RUN MUST BE 32 WITH EXOTIC LAUNCHER" Turns out it was a 28 warlock with a 1700 grimoire score with blue weapons.
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Last night while looking for fresh kings fall run I saw someone saying 310 gally required lol
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4 RepliesI saw this really weird one, which was _______ (I forget who it was) Level 25+ for VoG easy Must have mic Mic must not be down throat, my dick must be there instead No chyldren, 10+ years old. What. The. -blam!-.
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5 RepliesEdited by Stray: 4/2/2015 8:57:25 AMOk let me start then [quote]MUST BE AN ACTUALLY GOOD SWORD BEARER[/quote] That's pretty god damn important if you ask me [quote]Must be Sober[/quote] I'd prefer to play with sober people unless they are someone I can trust to not make a horrible error in judgement during a raid [quote]NO SQUEAKERS[/quote] Normally I don't care but if some kid keeps screaming into the mic I'm out of there [quote]Lvl 31 titan need 4 more, MUST BE LEVEL 32[/quote] Normal mode sure that's stupid but you never specified if he was doing normal or hard, I'd always prefer to have more 32's on the team anyways due to the enemy's level being 32 or higher during the finale [quote]Balls must have dropped for you to join[/quote] Ok that's funny [quote]need 6 for crota cp[/quote] So he miscounted how many people he needed so what? [quote]Looking to do hard mode ir yut I need the exotics. I really need a 'gjallurhorn' must be level 29. He was a level 27.[/quote] Ok I'll give you that one [quote]Best one right here: Must be 30+ for Normal VoG.[/quote] Generally speaking most people who aren't at least 30 are still using blue weapons so I'd prefer not to play with them [quote]Level 27 Titan. Need group to carry me through the raid. No squeakers or you will get booted. Playing porn in the background for motivation[/quote] He da real MVP [quote]Level 32 Titan - "full raid gear, maxed out".[/quote] He could be using Metal Banana: Electric Bugaloo gear instead of Raid Gear Edit 4: [quote]Looking for five gamer girls who are feeling naughty. Beat You Silly1 Must be 18+ and have a mic. Lvl doesn't matter as long as you listen to what I say ;) Will help you get to lvl 32 as long as you reward me on snapchat.[/quote] No words for that one
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This is for Crota Hard checkpoint Must be 32+ have Max Gally bring synths, no heavy ammo glitch. If you start shooting like crazy in the beginning you will be kicked. If you kill the Knights without supers you will be kicked. If you can't take orders you will be kicked. If you die you will be kicked.
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Crota, lvl 32, maxed gally I only need 5 to make up for myself not having one
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Must have maxed Needler
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37 RepliesEdited by The Tower Ball: 4/2/2015 5:41:02 AMI put this each time I use lfg: For Crota - " Our fireteam has reached the (insert checkpoint), but the swarm has claimed (insert number, however many you need) of us. We're being overwhelmed! Requesting bac--- " For Vog - " We've reached (insert checkpoint). We lost (insert number, however many you need) to snipers. The Vex are closing in, requesting Vanguard reinforc------ " I find it fun to mess around in lfg, my group and I get things done and have fun regardless. Edit: Feel free to use this yourself, it usually can lighten up your fireteam's mood and can result in a good time. :) Edit #2: Changed locations to (insert checkpoint).
