>walks in expecting that stupid dress thing >opens pic >cries >runs out >has nightmares for weeks >nightmares continue for years >gets therapy >after years of therapy I finally get over it >sees woman again, this time in person >runs away >she chases me >immediately result to emergency procedure >draws shrektogram on ground >summons shrek >shrek ask why I have summoned him >says "It was the chick with a dick" >shrek then bends me over >he blesses me with his shrek juice >Now has super shrek powers >finds chick with a dick >bends her over >surprise buttsecks >it was to much for her >she blows up >flys away into the sunset >reaches home planet >fires mega shrek laser at earth >earth explodes >all evidence of the chick with a dick is gone >It's all ogre now