I saw it all happen...I don't think I'll ever see something like that again. Let me recount to you of the tale of SmoggyPluto and Randal the Vandal. ------ I was perched up on the cliff of the Forgotten Shore, scouting the same area for the 74th time for the Vanguard. I was about to ask Cayde if who knew who kept misplacing the scouting reports, when I saw him: SmoggyPluto. He rode in from the canyon on a gleaming gold and red Sparrow, his cloak flapping majestically in the wind. The Sparrow's engine roared like some ancient beast, both beautiful and terrifying. My eyes began to water from this beautiful moment I got to witness. As a tear just started to fall, a bright-blue bolt of electricity shot out from nowhere.It hit the Sparrow square on the engine. A plume of smoke rose into the air, blocking out the last shining rays of the sunset. Just before the Sparrow exploded, SmoggyPluto jumped off and ascended into the sky like the terrifying bird of prey he was. He landed perfectly into a kneeling position; one arm holding up his weight, and the other hoisting his chosen weapon: the Gjallarhorn. What a bad @$$ he was. I could see SmoggyPluto looking around for his assailant, but he didn't have to look long. The shooter walked out from behind a nearby boulder to reveal his identity. Every Guardian knew him. He had many names...Guardian-Bane. The Immortal. Four-Armed Terror. Why-Won't-This-F**king-Fallen-F**king-Die. But most simply settle on his most horrifying name...Randal. Randal the Vandal. Terror crept up my spine upon viewing the Fallen demon. I ducked behind a rock to protect my life, but curiosity kept me from straying too far. I increased the range of my comms and listened in on their conversation: Smoggy spoke first. "Randal...it's been a long time." "Human. You know you aren't welcome here any more. Not after our last meeting." "Why? Because I knocked you out cold with one punch last time?" Randal hissed like a snake, tightening the grip on his Wire Rifle. "WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT!!! I will regain my honor, or the Kell will demote me to Dreg! You know what has to happen." "You could have just asked nicely." Smoggy fired off a round from Gjallarhorn, the launcher snarling like a demonic wolf. The luminour round found it's mark, exploding into a firestorm of howling destruction. "He's done it!" I thought. "Randal the Vandal is finished!" As the dust cloud began to clear, my hope was quickly dashed. A full yellow bar appeared on my HUD. Not even the smallest fraction was taken off. "I am not a mere mortal, Smoggy. I am a god!" Randal drew out four shock blades in each hand, and leapt from the cloud like a mutated bat. Just before the Vandal landed on top of Smoggy, he rolled under the alien and kicked him up into the sky. A sonic boom followed the rocketing Fallen: it was Smoggy jumping after him! "You'll wish you could die. THis is going to hurt a lot." Smoggy unleashed a maelstrom of punches and kicks and knife-slashes, breaking bone and distorting the alien's body. After a few seconds, Smoggy raised his arms high above his head, then hammered them down onto Randal. The alien fell down to Earth like a giant bullet, cratering the clay-colored rocks. Smoggy hovered in the sky, the Traveler's light dancing around him. He moved both hands to his right side and yelled out the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. "Kamehameha!!!" Smoggy shot out his hands in front of him, aimed down at where Randal lay. From his regal gauntlets shot out a blinding light, a burst of pure energy. Although it was night time by now, the entire beach was bathed in light, the impact of the blast shaking the ground. Rocks began falling off the surrounding cliffs. Rusted cargo ships that layed there for centuries were lifted from their ancient nests, the shockwave from the blast sending them veering into the ocean. At last, the destruction ceased. Smoggy slowly floated back to the ground. From below him, I could see Randal's pathetic, mangled body. There was only a sliver of yellow health left on my HUD. Randal turned his head to look at Smoggy. The pain of moving so slightly was made obvious. The Fallen began to...laugh. "You will never stop me, human. I WILL ALWAYS RETURN!" Smoggy knelt down next to Randal and looked at him, almost with pity. "And I will always stop you." Smoggy put his hand around the Fallen's head and crushed it like a melon, ether escaping between his fingers. I stood up from my hiding spot, completely in awe of what I just witnessed. Smoggy saw me moving, and looked towards me. He...started talking to me! I had to summon every ounce of self-control to not squeal like a girl. "Hey, you're Winchester, right?" I could hardly believe it. He knew my name?! How?! "Y-yeah, that's me. You're SmoggyPluto!" "Yeah, these are your's, right?" Smoggy grabbed something from his pack and raised them for me to see. I couldn't believe it: he found my 73 other scouting reports. --------- Like if you cry every time.