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Destiny

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Edited by dr DIDDELZ: 3/3/2015 7:11:20 PM
60

The Best Post I've Ever Seen

I saw a thread where some guy was complaining about Felwinters Lie needing a nerf, and I saw this: [quote]Solutions to Beasting's problem are as follows: 1. Don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 2. Don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 3. Don't run point in your fireteam. 4. Don't be the first to clear rooms. 5. Don't be first to move around corners. Don't even move. Stand motionless and maybe shotgunners wont see you. 6. Don't back up your teammates when trying to capture points in Control. That puts you too close for shotguns to be used on you. Make it seem like you are backing up your teammates by making "pew pew" noises into your mic. 7. Hang back at your spawn point and camp the shit out of it. (Again, "pew pew" noises make it seem like you're right in the action. Besides, they are too busy fighting enemies to notice you're camping back at spawn. Occasionally add in the "WHAT?!? WHERE DID HE COME FROM?" This most definitely will bypass any doubts your teammates are having of you.) 8. Speak to a Therapist about what has been troubling you and why you must camp at spawn. 9. Listen to said Therapists' response to your so called shotgun claim. 10. His response will undoubtably be, "Don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you." 11. Watch out for knee pad sliders. 12. You shouldn't have to watch out for sliders if you don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 13. Everyone had the option to buy a Felwinters Lie 14. Why didn't you buy one? If you had, you would know the range is pretty high. Therefore, you would ALSO know not to get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 15. This shotguns rate of fire sucks serious donkey dick so UNLESS you have the timing of a god... don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 16. If you see someone with this shotgun, run away. Fast. I'm talking faster than Chuck Norris can catch you fast. Because for that brief second, you were close enough for shotguns could be used on you. 17. Give up on games like Control or Rumble. As they are now the property of Felwinters Lie holders. All the map sizes put you close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 18. Turn your agility up the whole way because it doesn't matter how much armor you have... You are still a 1 shot kill. 19. Run away with said agility. 20. It's a shotgun. They have always been 1 shot kills because you got too close and shotguns were used on you 21-30. Don't get close enough for shotguns to be used on you. 31. Watch out for blinking bastards because they almost definitely have a Felwinters Lie equipped. 32. Run the other way when you hear "whooosh." Your audio is telling you that you are too close and shotguns will be used on you. 33. All maps regardless of size have boundaries. 34. You will not escape. 35. Felwinters Lie -blam!-s and pillages. 36. So other than running away with your tail between your legs or quitting Crucible, you only have 1 option. Camp and let your teammates carry your cowardly ass to victory! Good luck guardian.[/quote] EDIT: I don't remember the name of the guy that originally posted it, but if you see it then pm me and I'll definitely give you credit! I'll recognize the name when I see it EDIT: Over 100 and trending!!! Sweet!
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