JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.

3/4/2008 3:56:09 AM
8

The Great Forum War: The Von Keshner Chronicles

This is my addition to the Forum War Story. This is The Von Keshner Chronicles. GeneralJohn1031 is writing the main story and A Rabid Snail is writing about is character who goes by the name Light and Cold Blood Killa's story about his character [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=18073416]The Forum War[/url] by GeneralJohn1031 [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=18069593]The Light Chronicles[/url] by A Rabid Snail [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=18102384]Buster's Awakening[/url] by Cold Blood Killa Here's the first installment of The Von Keshner Chronicles "Damn it! Why the -blam!- isn't he here yet? I don't feel comfortable just sitting here wasting the day in some God-forsaken suburb in a dead thread that could very easily be the base of operations for some down and out criminal group. Are you sure this is where the informant said he would be?" Two men were waiting, perched in a top story window waiting for the target to appear. "Yes, I'm sure. Have patience Brock." "Patience!? We've been sitting here all day!" "Yes, I know," retorted Jason, "but The informant was unsure of when Von Keshner would get here." Brock couldn't help but feel as though something were wrong. The streets they were watching were completely deserted save for the occasional lost straggler looking in the ancient archives of Bnet. The erie stillness and the fact that Jason still had not yet revealed the identity of the informant made Brock feel as though something bad was about to happen. "I say we get outta here and you tell your damn informant our cover was blown. It's getting dark and I've heard these parts get overrun by creaatures of unimaginable horror after the sun sets." "Aw, is wittle Bwocky Scared? Well don't worry wittle Brocky, I'm sure mommy will be waiting at with milk and cookies for you when you get home. Anyway, we have to wait for Von Keshner, I was only paidhalf the money up front and I love these betrayal assassinations." "Betrayal assassination?" Brock couldn't help but wonder who was betraying who and why it was so important. "Ya, Keller want's his right hand man dead and I was hired to do the job." "Keller? You mean the forum ninja Keller? But he's a hippie? He wouldn't hurt a fly. Why would he now want Von Keshner dead?" "You know, with all these annoying questions you ask, I'm surprised I still bring you along to watch a true assassin master at w..." He was cut off by the sound of a creak from outside the door to the room they were in. Both Brock and Jason fell Dead silent, waiting to see if someone would enter. "Get your pistol out now." Jason ordered Brock in a silent but stern voice while reaching for his own. They crept over to the door, attaching silencers to their guns as they went. "When I say go..." But Jason was cut off once again, but this time by an explosion. The door flew off it's hinges past their heads as the force of the blast threw them to the ground, each one losing his grasp on his pistol. Before either of them knew what was going on, A squad of men in business suits stormed into the room, guns at the ready and aimed at the duo. Neither dared move as they both wondered how the hell they had come to be in such a predicament. As the smoke from the blast began to settle they saw a man walk through to face hover over them. A man of about six foot two, wearing plain blue jeans and a snow white hoodie with nothing but an Addidas Insignia in blood red emblazoned upon the chest. "Y-y-you..." Stuttered Jason, not wanting to believe his target was staring down at him with men with guns to do his bidding while He just lay there, completely helpless. "Von-Von Keshner." Upon hearing this, Brock chimed in, "Dude, I told you we should have left." "Why yes, yes you should have," Began Keshner, "but guess what? You didn't and now you're totally effed. But before you die, would you like something to eat?" Needless to say, the two assassins were confused, but Jason managed to get out an "Ehh..?" "Johnson, go grab a few crates for us to sit on." At this command, one of Von Keshner's henchmen left the room and returned a few moments later carrying three crates stacked upon one another. "Wait? You're gonna feed us? Are you a cannibal?" Brock inquired. "What!? Hell no! You've got a sick mind, I suggest professional help." Was Von Keshner's response, repulsed by the idea of eating human flesh. "Here. Have some Subway." Von Keshner proceeded to give each of them a Subway sandwich. "Are you , you know, insane or something?" Asked Jason At this question, Von Keshner opened his mouth as if to say something but got a thoughtful look on his face for a moment before nodding his head and said, "Probably." "Why are you feeding us?" was still what Brock wanted to know, "What the hell are you even keeping us alive for? Do you need our services?" "Ok, I suppose since I'm gonna kill you anyway, I can tell you why I'm killing you. The reason I'm doing this is I'm going to kill William Keller, take his position, and eventually rule Forum Land, and people probably won't like the whole me killing Keller thing. And I'm keeping you alive cuz I like to be civilized and allow people one last mean before they die." "Kill him? What? Why? He's been doing such a good job at being a Forum ninja." "Well, I'll be honest with you. I just feel like it. And after I take power I have a feeling people are gonna want me dead. Now I'll be well protected and all, but I figure 'Why take a chance?' So I'm going around and killing all the guns for hire, or at least most of them. So I send guys like you on some fake-ass mission to assassinate me and sneak up on my victims and kill them. I send one of my men to give the assassins, in this case you guys, and then I burst in and kill them. Much like this little episode is being played out now. The way I see it in my messed up little mind, even if I don't kill all the assassins, what few remain will know of how anyone else to come after me died and the ones fool-hearty enough to actually attempt it have such an ego it will be easy to defeat them. Then after I take over, I'm gonna make a bunch of stupid pointless laws that people will obviously break, just so I can enjoy the suffering. You see, I'm just plain evil. I've actually been able to suppress my good side for years now. Sure the good side gets control every once in a while, but I've pretty much won the eternal war between good and evil within myself unlike most people." "Well, that's not very nice of you." Sputtered Jason. "Exactly! I'm glad we have an understanding here. Goodbye." And that was the last sentence Jason ever heard, as Von Keshner pulled a gun out of nowhere and shot him right between the eyes. Brock saw the last few seconds of his life in slow motion, beginning with the cold blood murder of his former mentor and best friend. Brock watched as Jason's arms become limp and fall to his sides before the entire body fall over in slow motion to become a lifeless heap on the cold hardwood floor. Looking away from Jason's now deceased corpse and toward Von Keshner, the last thing Brock ever saw before his eternal rest was a bullet being loaded into the chamber of Von Keshner's "Clean up the mess and incinerate the bodies" [Edited on 03.04.2008 1:50 PM PST]

Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • AH THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE PARAGRAPHS! Very nice!

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • something like that

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Hello Kitty Cereal! Now with 50% more kitty!!!!

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • This is part two. Just says about how he got his pyrokinesis and why he burns kitties. "So I see you're finally awake, I was worried there for a bit that the operation could have killed you," Dr. Vaulsc was just awakening Von Keshner from his state of Biostasis sleep, "But seeing as how you're still alive, you should find the results of your operation to be quite, hot..." "Wow," Vo Keshner, being in a terrible state of mind at this time, was praying to God he had only imagined what Dr. Vaulsc had just said, even though he knew it wasn't his imagination, "You are never allowed to even think about attempting to make a pun ever again. Ever." "Oh, ya, well that's a great way to thank the guy who just endowed you with super human unnatural powers." "I know it is, I can't believe how nice I am to you. Now, bring me something living. Like a kitty. Yes, bring me a kitty." "A kitty? Sir?" Dr. Vaulsc couldn't really tell if Keshner was fully together yet or if he was still suffering from side effects of the biostasis, but decided it best not to make him mad as he could still be in a more unstable state of mind than he usually was. "Jenkins, fetch a kitty. Anyway, Keshner, there was a problem with the operation, I wasn't able to give you the ability to summon fire out of midair like you were hoping for. So I made these cuff things crafted after the ones Pyro wore in the X Men 3 movie. They are like little tiny flame throwers giving you the small amount of fire you need to rbring pain and destruction down upon the world." "Sweet. Gimme. Please." Vaulsc proceeded to hand Von Keshner his new tools of destruction, which Keshner immediately put on his hands and created a small flame which he then manipulated into a large perfect sphere of pure fire. "Very, very nice," was Von Keshner's response to these new toys of his, just as the assisstant re-entered the room carrying a fluffly white kitten. "Set it on the floor." Vaulsc's assisstant put the cat on the floor and without hesitation, Von Keshner created a ring of fire around the kitten. He watched happily as the helpless feline cowered in fear with no where to go. After a few moments of this, he simply shrunk the circle engulfing the kitten in flames. The assisstant was watching as horror as the kitten screeched in pain, an ungodly noise of which there was no forgetting. The stench of burning flesh and fur wafting into the air. Von Keshner then proceeded to increase the temperature of the flame, changing its color from a bright red, to a shade of orange, to a dazzling white. This effectively ended the terrible cries of pain from the now deceased cat. Von Keshner then vanquished the fire leaving nothing but a pile of ash smitten with the reek of seared kitten and fur. Upon witnessing this and the wide grin now appearing on Von Keshner's face, the guard took off down the hall in utter fear for his life. "All right, now having brutally killed something and gaining, as far as we know, unlimited power over fire, I feel pretty good. Up for some Pizza Hut?" "Wow... You do realize you're insane right?" Despite his years of service to Von keshner, Vaulsc still could not believe the things Von Keshner did. "Thta's what they tell me. I'll go grab my keys, while I'm gone get somebody to clean up this mess and get a stockpile of kittens. Make sure they stay healthy, cuz I don't wanna waste my money on something I'm not gonna kill." Von Keshner headed for the door and then stopped and spun around, "Oh, and one more thing, make sure the ashes are saved, I'm gonna bribe some company into using charred kitten carcass as an ingredient in their cereal."

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • special problems as in...? Also, yes, I suppose, since you asked, I will another little short story thingy.

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Will there be a chapter 2??? Nice story. How did you come up with such a weird yet funny yet evil character, you must have "special problems". [Edited on 03.05.2008 2:00 PM PST]

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GeneralJohn1031 That's pretty good, you should save it in the flood library sticky if you want[/quote] I don't know how to do that.

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • That's pretty good, you should save it in the flood library sticky if you want

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

preload icon
preload icon
preload icon
You are not allowed to view this content.